jackofallgeeks: (chixor)
[personal profile] jackofallgeeks
I haven't been able to get her out of my mind since Tuesday.
It feels like so much longer than that.
She hasn't contacted me since, and if you know me, you know that silence makes me anxious.
So I'm anxious.
And I'm impatient.
And I'm a fool.
And even if I'm not a fool, she's still 3000 miles away, and I hardly know her.

Persistence is a good thing, I've been told.
But I can't get over the hurt that persistence caused me recently.
I'm afraid to 'keep at it' because I'm afraid of being hurt again.

I haven't wanted to go to bed all week.
I think that's mostly because of school.
At least, I don't think it has much to do with this, because I didn't want to sleep last week, either.
I should go to bed.

"hello, boy."

Date: 2006-02-06 08:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mordainlove.livejournal.com
relationship persistence toward one who is 3,000 miles away can hurt the heart, dearest.

apology in advance for the stamp issue. if you haven't already, you'll see what i mean soon enough. feel free to laugh at me - mom and i both had a good snerk session over it.

love you like a burrito.

Date: 2006-02-06 08:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com
But, see, the worst bit is there is no relationship. I've only talked to her once in nearly seven years, on Tuesday. But I want there to be a relationship. She's less of an unknown quantity than all these other girls who aren't interested in me. I've had a crush on her since I met her.

-smiles- I'm trying to think of a clever quip about tacos and exploding, but it's not coming to me...

Re: "hello, boy."

Date: 2006-02-08 07:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com
...I don't think I've ever seen a 1-cent stamp before...
O.o

Date: 2006-02-06 08:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mordainlove.livejournal.com
ps: i know all too well the feeling of not wanting to go to bed. boo. who needs sleep, i say? psh. not me. i continue to have painful-to-look-at dark circles around my eyes, but i figure... i've had those since i was 10yrs old.

Date: 2006-02-06 08:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com
-smiles- You need to be on AIM.  :p

Date: 2006-02-06 08:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mordainlove.livejournal.com
if i thought i could honestly sit here for much longer, i'd get on AIM for you right this second. but my back is killing me and i'd hate to have to cut you short. we should pick a time to chat real time, though. how about that for a deal? sound okay? :)

Date: 2006-02-06 08:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com
As nice as it'd be to talk with you, I don't want you to hurt yourself for it anyways.

-grins- We're in the same timezone, Dear One; picking an open slot should be easy enough. I'm in classes from 9am-3pm most every day, but I'm generally sitting right here most of the rest of the time. I'm easy to find.

For you, I'll try to make a point of being 'Back' when I'm actually at my computer this week, but even if I'm 'Away,' I'm usually here.

Date: 2006-02-06 08:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mordainlove.livejournal.com
that sounds good. i'll try to make a point to steal some online time. i'm trying to be good and keep the lines open for a number of reasons, least of them being that i have a billion job applications floating about and would really like someone to call me. grr.

i just sent you a quickie e-mail. :)

Date: 2006-02-06 08:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com
*glomp*

I saw, and I love you, and I'll write an actual reply to it, and yes.

^_^;;
Little things, I guess, but... uhm... yeah, that little email was one of the best things to happen to me since Tuesday.

What will a kid say next...

Date: 2006-02-06 02:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] higheststar.livejournal.com
I had to let you know. Becky announced to your family at dinner on Saturday that I should marry you so that I could be her aunt. We then had to explain I'd be her sister. But everyone was very amused.

The darndest things.

Date: 2006-02-06 03:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com
I'm not really sure what an apropriate response to that would be. -laughs-
I'm a little jealous that you get to have dinner with my family, though.
How's life been treating you, lately?

Re: The darndest things.

Date: 2006-02-06 04:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] higheststar.livejournal.com
I have nothing optimistic to write in my journal. And could only rant about the typical things. So I've stayed silence.

But dinner with your family was wonderful! I won't lie.

Date: 2006-02-06 07:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com
I'm sorry to hear that; I hope thing turn up for you.
Any particular occation you had dinner with them for? I don't think you were ever in the habit of randomly stopping by (not since 8th grade, at least).

Date: 2006-02-06 08:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] higheststar.livejournal.com
You sister was visiting with Caitlin and it was my first shot to see her!

Date: 2006-02-06 09:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com
Gah! Now I'm really jealous! I want t'see my niece.

Date: 2006-02-06 03:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intereoagnitio.livejournal.com
I just felt like goiving you a little poke about what you said. Here you say your impatient, yet in the post below it, you say your patient. Which one is it? Hmm?

It it would probably be best for me to stay out of the main ove this conversation, I don't want to seem the young fool.

Date: 2006-02-06 04:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com
Below, I meant more patient-with-people or, more correctly, tolerance for people. I can be very tolerant of people, so long as they aren't ignorant (a term which has broad meaning for me). I'm not *really* patient, though. I am a creature of the Now, and when something isn't now, it irritates me.

So, no, I'm not patient, but I didn't really mean 'patient' earlier.

Date: 2006-02-06 04:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] intereoagnitio.livejournal.com
I guess we all can't be perfect, can we *grins*

Date: 2006-02-06 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com
Perhaps not, but I approach it asymptotically.

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