(no subject)

[jackofallgeeks]

I used to think that the most frightening things in the world were concepts like Death, Eternity, and Being Utterly Alone. Those things are frightening, yes, but not quite so bone-chillingly terrifying as the mother who said this of her toddler:

"He is his own person. If I tell him to stop, and he chooses not too, that is his choice. Who am I to force my will upon him?"

I'm going to have nightmares for a week.

Comments

[photoholic62.livejournal.com]

I think that what some folks don't realize is that teaching a child right from wrong, and gently guiding them is not the same as imposing your will upon them.

The other thing that folks don't realize is that we, as parents, should not be raising children. We should be raising adults.

There is nothing wrong with a little time out. Time to cool down, and allow the child to think of what happened. There is nothing wrong with simply not allowing a certain kind of behavior. Expecting a certain caliber of behavior.

If children are not taught these things very early, it is not likely they will learn them on their own.

I hope the nightmares go away fast!

[sugarpoisonappl.livejournal.com]

wow. i agree, that is incredibly scary ...

when children are young, especially that young, they aren't really their own person yet. the experiences they have will help to shape and mould them into their own person, but they don't know enough to really be their own person yet.

young children have a small world that revolves entirely around themselves and what they need, because it's all they're capable of taking in. if you allow that point of view to continue, without ever helping your child to see that there is much more to the world than just "me" and what "i want," then i think you've failed as a parent in a very real sense by refusing to even attempt to guide your child through life.

taking it to the extreme, if her kid wanted to take daddy's gun to school, would it be an imposition of will to tell him no? if he wants to beat other people up, would telling him to stop be wrong? what about stealing, or cheating on tests?

come to think of it, i guess the laws by which a country are governed must be terribly imposing to someone who thinks like this ... i bet she's a nice little anarchist or something. whee.

my husband and i are going to do right by our daughter, and future children, by teaching them that their actions affect other people, just like other peoples' actions will affect them. teaching a kid what behaviors are acceptable is *necessary*. if your son or daughter is a grown person, then it would be ridiculous to tell them what to do. but children *need* to have their parents' will forced upon them, or they'll end up having no concept of reality, relationships with others, or even simple everyday questions of right from wrong. you can't just let your kid run rampant doing whatever they want ..

*ugh* sorry for the rant ... that just really makes me mad ... classic example of how *not* to treat your toddler.

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

I have more to say, eventually, but aparently this lady said what she did after her son ignored her suggestion to stop hitting a little girl with a toy. How much worse does that make it?  -shudder-

[sugarpoisonappl.livejournal.com]

do you happen to knoe where this lady lives? 'cause i'd like to go hit her ... no, wait, i've got a better idea. i'll teach her kid how to break the tv and everything fragile in the house with a golf club or something, and then we'll see how unwilling she is to discipline him ... *mwa ha ha*

[(Anonymous)]

You should have seen the LJ of a woman who hit her child onto the floor, which cause his lip to split open... and then let it get badly infected. Or the couple in Kmart, years ago, who had beat their little 2 year old little girl until her entire face was either black or blue, completely with lumps. THAT haunts me.

I think in general that parents of today are not good parents. I have babysat more times than I can count (for free) ... and the children I have come across are just not very nice. They are spoiled, the are ungrateful... and they are for the most part largely uncaring. It's scary. And if the child isn't spoiled, chances are they are neglected or abused. That is ... everyday life, here in Northern California.

Actually, everyday life is knowing that they bus in child molesters and rapists.... to MY CITY ... to live. They bus them here and so these potentially dangerous people are everywhere in the small community. Yet, I see tiny children out wandering the streets with no adult or teenager anywhere near them.

Most parents don't realize that children... children are not adults. Toddlers NEED structure and rules. They need to be taught that certain things are good and certain things are not. By saying the above quoted... that person is giving up what little ability they have to try and teach their child to be a good person.

These things scare me... almost to the point where I'd really reconsider having children. Because I wouldn't want to make those kinds of mistakes. I'd want to be able to do the best possible job and raise them to be kind, open-minded individuals who faught for what was right. I think maybe this is harder than most people realize.

Ahh, one more reason why I love my mother. She was - IS - an awesome example of the sort of parent I would love for myself to be, when/if I ever have the chance to be a mother.

-Mel

[sugarpoisonappl.livejournal.com]

it's important to keep in mind the things that make some people bad parents ... bt=ut rather than not have children because of it, when you would otherwise have wanted to ... wouldn't it be better to have children, and give them a good home, and lots of love, and show them the right way? and then, instead of just avoiding making mistakes by never trying, you can raise children who will know the things that you grew up knowing because of your mother.

for my part, i sometimes fear that i'm not doing a good job with my daughter ... but i'm doing the best i can. and i know that i must not be doing a poor job of it, because every time she smiles at me i know how much she loves me. that's how i know i'm a good parent. ^_^ we shower her with love, gently teach her what "no" means (she's only 13 months old but she gts some of it), and we're going to do our best to give her the best life we possibly can.