(no subject)

I talked with people today.
Old friends. I miss my friends dearly.
I can't adequetly express what my friends mean to me.
I'll just end up sounding stupid.

I chatted with Emily Croft for quite a while today between classes... She knows what trillian is, and understood my Hiding trick. This amused me. We sat and talked about nothing in particular, but it was really good. I miss her being around the way she was in Highschool...
I also chatted with Ms. Becky, but she was late for bed, so it was only a short one. She asked how I was, and I felt compelled to tell her, truthfully, that I wasn't so hot. I donno. It's stupid. But she cared. And that felt nice. I don't know.

The best one, though, was I finally bumped into Sara online. It occured to me that I've 'known' Sara longer than I've known Leslie, though just short of as long as I've known Louis. That struck me; it's really important to me. We talked about such an stuff... I feel a little bad for her situation... I wish I could make it better... She told me that in Freshman or Sophomore year, both she and Leslie had had crushes on me...  ^_^;;  I wish someone woulda let me know then.
It was good talkig with her again.

I'm going to say things you won't like.
I can't fix everything.
I'm not perfect.
I have to learn to accept that.
I have to learn to deal with that.

The Day a Star Died (Originally: A vent)

( Our Conversation )

THIS is why I keep my fucking mouth shut! This is why I don't say a fucking word. It's bad enough that the whole damn world is fucking against me. It's bad enough that I'm such a fucking skrew-up, that I can't do a fucking thing without everyone saying ""Dude, that's messed-up." It doesn't fucking help that I would get attacked when I reached for support. This is what I'm always so fucking afraid of. But I wasn't expecting it from her. Maybe I should have.

It's not fair that everything's so wrong.
Maybe I am just doing it to myself.
Maybe I'd be better off if I had no principles, nothing to stand for. Nohing to fight for. No reason to be attacked.
Maybe I should fucking be like every other waste of flesh on this fucking rock.
Nothing I am seems to matter anyways.

Quote of the Day

Andrew: Nobody's perfect, not even Curtis.
Curtis: I just approach it asymptotically.

Curtis gets a gold star for that one! Rock!

Quote of the Day, take two.

Mike: You'll have to excuse Curtis, he's the Devil.