The Day a Star Died (Originally: A vent)
Nov. 12th, 2003 01:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackofallgeeksAmanda: oh my gosh
Amanda: u have to be kidding me.
Amanda: u and your religion... -shaking head-
Amanda: i'm sorry kiddo
Amanda: but, ...
Andrew: But?
Amanda: if you get married to someone and you die the next day,... is it really gonna matter if they wanted a baptist family/jewish fam/ or a catholic one?
Amanda: really.
Amanda: it's nice to have a faith, but like so many other things, i think religion is so destructive for no reason at all
Andrew: Thanks for the suppport. But that's not the point.
Amanda: thanx for the sarcasm
Andrew: Sorry. A bit of a sour mood.
Amanda: i hate to say this, but u are a bit narrow-minded
Amanda: just listen to me a moment
Amanda: so, this is the situation
Amanda: u take so much time and emotional stress and effort to find the one person that wants to raise children in the same faith as you. Your kids reach the age of 18 and decide that they want to be Buddist.... now what? I would argue that u feel like you are an adult and can make your own decisions, despite that fact that your parents wouldn't agree with all of them.
Amanda: so, u r gonna feel like u WAISTED your whole life for nothing cuz then they want to change. is it really necessary for them to be CATHOLIC, or is it just important enough for them to know that they respect all human life
Amanda: and they should be honest, not steal, not kill, not adulturate,....
Amanda: i think the message is more important than the religion that embodies it
Andrew: I agree. But you still miss the point.
Amanda: which is?
Andrew: I don't know, it's not worth it...
Amanda: what?
Amanda: talk to me
Andrew: Maybe I don't have a point. Maybe I just want to live my life a certain way. Maybe I want to raise my kids Catholic because I BELIEVE what the faith teaches...
Amanda: that's fine. u know what? catholicism worked for me. i'm a relatively "normal" person...
Andrew: And maybe I'm a fool, but I couldn't raise my kids without faith, or with a fah I don't agree with....
Amanda: okay, now i'm gonna get mad
Andrew: Why?
Amanda: the FUCKIN' POINT is that the name of the religion is the only thing u r hanging on to! GEEZ! MAN! I read a book called "Interpreting the Koran" or something like that. And the whole freakin' message was that one should be nice, and not kill, not hurt, not cheat, be honest, and all that good BS.
Amanda: and i thought how MUCH it sounded like Catholicism
Amanda: and thought, u know, i don't know why we fight about the fuckin' name of the religion when the freakin' message is the same
Andrew: Pause.
Andrew: IF I was just holding onto the name, THAT would be a different story. And IF someone could show me that's all there is to it, THAT would change things. [censored] You're reading words into my mouth that AREN'T there.
Amanda: well, u know what kiddo! maybe u should learn about the fuckin' tradition in other religions before condemning them! We fuckin' fast during lent and get ashes on our fuckin' forheads for NO FUCKIN' REASON!!!!! And we don't eat meat on fridays then FOR NO FUCKIN' REASON, same as eating flatbread
Amanda: DAMN!
Amanda: look at what u r doing!
Andrew: Did I say for one FUCKING minute that I wasn't interested in learning?
Andrew: Di I SAY that I hadn't asked!?
Amanda: well, u say it's for no reason
Amanda: that is an uneducated statement, dude
Andrew: Did you think for a fucking SECOND that I was TOLD there was no meaning behind them?
Amanda: and remember this, sweetie, Jesus was JEWISH,... and u believe he is God,... God couldn't have thought Judaism was so bad if he decided to make his only son one of them.
Andrew: You know, i'm glad you know everything my relationship. I'm glad you assume I haven't asked my GIRLFRIEND about the faith SHE WANTS ME TO BELIEVE IN. i'm glad you think I'm as fucking narrow-minded and ignorant as all the other ass-holes in the world because I FUCKING BELIEVE IN SOMETHING.
Andrew: Amanda, I'm sorry. I don't want to be mad at you. I don't want you to be mad at me. This isn't worth it.
Amanda: i'm sorry that you are so upset about this, and i don't want to ruin the little relationship we have. we have conflicting views. maybe i am assuming, but you comments are the only things i have to go on, and the only things that you have been saying is that nothing means nothing in that religion and to me that says narrow-minded. and the fact that you are getting so angry over this upsets me. i don't like the fact that you are acting this way and i am sorry that your life is such a fuckin' mess cuz of your religion. that's not my fault, never was, never will be. each person is responsible for their own actions. u are sad cuz you want to be.
Amanda: i'm going to bed.
THIS is why I keep my fucking mouth shut! This is why I don't say a fucking word. It's bad enough that the whole damn world is fucking against me. It's bad enough that I'm such a fucking skrew-up, that I can't do a fucking thing without everyone saying ""Dude, that's messed-up." It doesn't fucking help that I would get attacked when I reached for support. This is what I'm always so fucking afraid of. But I wasn't expecting it from her. Maybe I should have.
It's not fair that everything's so wrong.
Maybe I am just doing it to myself.
Maybe I'd be better off if I had no principles, nothing to stand for. Nohing to fight for. No reason to be attacked.
Maybe I should fucking be like every other waste of flesh on this fucking rock.
Nothing I am seems to matter anyways.
Amanda: u have to be kidding me.
Amanda: u and your religion... -shaking head-
Amanda: i'm sorry kiddo
Amanda: but, ...
Andrew: But?
Amanda: if you get married to someone and you die the next day,... is it really gonna matter if they wanted a baptist family/jewish fam/ or a catholic one?
Amanda: really.
Amanda: it's nice to have a faith, but like so many other things, i think religion is so destructive for no reason at all
Andrew: Thanks for the suppport. But that's not the point.
Amanda: thanx for the sarcasm
Andrew: Sorry. A bit of a sour mood.
Amanda: i hate to say this, but u are a bit narrow-minded
Amanda: just listen to me a moment
Amanda: so, this is the situation
Amanda: u take so much time and emotional stress and effort to find the one person that wants to raise children in the same faith as you. Your kids reach the age of 18 and decide that they want to be Buddist.... now what? I would argue that u feel like you are an adult and can make your own decisions, despite that fact that your parents wouldn't agree with all of them.
Amanda: so, u r gonna feel like u WAISTED your whole life for nothing cuz then they want to change. is it really necessary for them to be CATHOLIC, or is it just important enough for them to know that they respect all human life
Amanda: and they should be honest, not steal, not kill, not adulturate,....
Amanda: i think the message is more important than the religion that embodies it
Andrew: I agree. But you still miss the point.
Amanda: which is?
Andrew: I don't know, it's not worth it...
Amanda: what?
Amanda: talk to me
Andrew: Maybe I don't have a point. Maybe I just want to live my life a certain way. Maybe I want to raise my kids Catholic because I BELIEVE what the faith teaches...
Amanda: that's fine. u know what? catholicism worked for me. i'm a relatively "normal" person...
Andrew: And maybe I'm a fool, but I couldn't raise my kids without faith, or with a fah I don't agree with....
Amanda: okay, now i'm gonna get mad
Andrew: Why?
Amanda: the FUCKIN' POINT is that the name of the religion is the only thing u r hanging on to! GEEZ! MAN! I read a book called "Interpreting the Koran" or something like that. And the whole freakin' message was that one should be nice, and not kill, not hurt, not cheat, be honest, and all that good BS.
Amanda: and i thought how MUCH it sounded like Catholicism
Amanda: and thought, u know, i don't know why we fight about the fuckin' name of the religion when the freakin' message is the same
Andrew: Pause.
Andrew: IF I was just holding onto the name, THAT would be a different story. And IF someone could show me that's all there is to it, THAT would change things. [censored] You're reading words into my mouth that AREN'T there.
Amanda: well, u know what kiddo! maybe u should learn about the fuckin' tradition in other religions before condemning them! We fuckin' fast during lent and get ashes on our fuckin' forheads for NO FUCKIN' REASON!!!!! And we don't eat meat on fridays then FOR NO FUCKIN' REASON, same as eating flatbread
Amanda: DAMN!
Amanda: look at what u r doing!
Andrew: Did I say for one FUCKING minute that I wasn't interested in learning?
Andrew: Di I SAY that I hadn't asked!?
Amanda: well, u say it's for no reason
Amanda: that is an uneducated statement, dude
Andrew: Did you think for a fucking SECOND that I was TOLD there was no meaning behind them?
Amanda: and remember this, sweetie, Jesus was JEWISH,... and u believe he is God,... God couldn't have thought Judaism was so bad if he decided to make his only son one of them.
Andrew: You know, i'm glad you know everything my relationship. I'm glad you assume I haven't asked my GIRLFRIEND about the faith SHE WANTS ME TO BELIEVE IN. i'm glad you think I'm as fucking narrow-minded and ignorant as all the other ass-holes in the world because I FUCKING BELIEVE IN SOMETHING.
Andrew: Amanda, I'm sorry. I don't want to be mad at you. I don't want you to be mad at me. This isn't worth it.
Amanda: i'm sorry that you are so upset about this, and i don't want to ruin the little relationship we have. we have conflicting views. maybe i am assuming, but you comments are the only things i have to go on, and the only things that you have been saying is that nothing means nothing in that religion and to me that says narrow-minded. and the fact that you are getting so angry over this upsets me. i don't like the fact that you are acting this way and i am sorry that your life is such a fuckin' mess cuz of your religion. that's not my fault, never was, never will be. each person is responsible for their own actions. u are sad cuz you want to be.
Amanda: i'm going to bed.
THIS is why I keep my fucking mouth shut! This is why I don't say a fucking word. It's bad enough that the whole damn world is fucking against me. It's bad enough that I'm such a fucking skrew-up, that I can't do a fucking thing without everyone saying ""Dude, that's messed-up." It doesn't fucking help that I would get attacked when I reached for support. This is what I'm always so fucking afraid of. But I wasn't expecting it from her. Maybe I should have.
It's not fair that everything's so wrong.
Maybe I am just doing it to myself.
Maybe I'd be better off if I had no principles, nothing to stand for. Nohing to fight for. No reason to be attacked.
Maybe I should fucking be like every other waste of flesh on this fucking rock.
Nothing I am seems to matter anyways.
