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jackofallgeeksAmanda Fleetwood, Dec. 29, 1983 -- July 13th, 2004
Ben Bandas, April 12, 1986 -- July 20, 2006
Amanda Pudvah, Feb. 25, 1986 -- Feb. 10, 2008
Amanda Fleetwood was a friend-of-a-friend. I'd never met her, but when she died I was struck by the horribleness of it. Late on July 12th, 2004, she and a friend went to a smoke shop and then gave a lift to another of the customers, who they didn't know previously. Once they got where he was going, he shot them both in the back on the head. The friend, a guy, took three bullets but last I heard was stabilizing, though he'd probably lose an eye. Amanda died on the scene.
Ben Bandas was a friend-of-a-friend; in fact, he was Claire's little cousin. I met him once or twice and really liked him, but didn't see him much, especially after Claire and I broke up. He had lots of friends and was really loved, but most of us knew him through Anime Conventions, which probably means he didn't see any of us a whole lot. The last time I talked to him, he told me he was running his own computer-type company. Shortly thereafter, a matter of months I think, he killed himself. We all have demons, but it seems Ben felt he had to fight them alone and he lost. Before Ben, death had always been for old people and strangers.
Amanda Pudvah was a friend-of-a-friend; many friends, in fact, as it seems all of my friends in Steubenville knew her. I met her not even a month ago, when I took Elizabeth and Cindy up for a visit to see all our FUS friends. I really liked her, for having only just met her. That was the weekend I drove more than 5 hours to my parents' house, unknowingly on a 103-degree fever. Amanda died of pneumonia, and I imagine she must've gotten sick not long after my visit. Her death is made more tragic by the fact that she neglected to go to the doctor's because she didn't have health insurance, and some claim there's mismanagement at the FUS health center.
Three people who shouldn't be dead are because the world is messed up. They were all about 20 when it happened; hardly more than kids. Amanda shouldn't have been shot, Ben should've been able to get the respite he needed, and there should've been some kind of aide or support available to Amanda so she wouldn't die of fucking pneumonia.
Ben Bandas, April 12, 1986 -- July 20, 2006
Amanda Pudvah, Feb. 25, 1986 -- Feb. 10, 2008
Amanda Fleetwood was a friend-of-a-friend. I'd never met her, but when she died I was struck by the horribleness of it. Late on July 12th, 2004, she and a friend went to a smoke shop and then gave a lift to another of the customers, who they didn't know previously. Once they got where he was going, he shot them both in the back on the head. The friend, a guy, took three bullets but last I heard was stabilizing, though he'd probably lose an eye. Amanda died on the scene.
Ben Bandas was a friend-of-a-friend; in fact, he was Claire's little cousin. I met him once or twice and really liked him, but didn't see him much, especially after Claire and I broke up. He had lots of friends and was really loved, but most of us knew him through Anime Conventions, which probably means he didn't see any of us a whole lot. The last time I talked to him, he told me he was running his own computer-type company. Shortly thereafter, a matter of months I think, he killed himself. We all have demons, but it seems Ben felt he had to fight them alone and he lost. Before Ben, death had always been for old people and strangers.
Amanda Pudvah was a friend-of-a-friend; many friends, in fact, as it seems all of my friends in Steubenville knew her. I met her not even a month ago, when I took Elizabeth and Cindy up for a visit to see all our FUS friends. I really liked her, for having only just met her. That was the weekend I drove more than 5 hours to my parents' house, unknowingly on a 103-degree fever. Amanda died of pneumonia, and I imagine she must've gotten sick not long after my visit. Her death is made more tragic by the fact that she neglected to go to the doctor's because she didn't have health insurance, and some claim there's mismanagement at the FUS health center.
Three people who shouldn't be dead are because the world is messed up. They were all about 20 when it happened; hardly more than kids. Amanda shouldn't have been shot, Ben should've been able to get the respite he needed, and there should've been some kind of aide or support available to Amanda so she wouldn't die of fucking pneumonia.
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no subject
Date: 2008-02-13 05:41 am (UTC)For those of you who don't know, I'm the friend that she was a friend of - one of them, at least. I'm not commenting in any attempt to lessen or trivialize the tragedy, but I'm afraid something like this may cause more harm than good.
For the past month or so, colds and flu have affected nearly everyone on campus, to the point where it had affectionately been called "the plague." The fortunate were laid low for a few days, the less so for as much as a week or two. The average student felt little to no need to resort to more than cold medicine, bed rest, and toughing it out.
As late as Friday, Amanda seemed fine. A little under the weather, but no worse than half the campus. That was the last I had seen her. I am very good friends with her roomate, and, though she hasn't specifically gone through all the details with me, this is what I am led to believe had happened from that point:
On Saturday, she was feeling pretty bad, to the point where it concerned some, but in a "you should probably go see the nurse, at least to get excused from class" manner. A little concerning, but no one imagined it was anything serious. And I believe Amanda was a very stoic individual, the kind where a good cup of tea and some good bed rest can cure anything.
On Sunday morning, she woke up coughing blood. Her roomate called 911, she was rushed to the hospital, and was even going to be airlifted to Pittsburgh. She didn't last long enough for the airlift, but she had managed to receive last rights and spent her last moments in the presence of one of the friars, dying at 3:20 PM. The initial analysis was unknown cause of death, with suspicions of complications due to pneumonia; the autopsy determined that it was in fact due to pneumonia.
The point I'm trying to make with all of this is that it was no one's fault. It is true that far too many students don't have health insurance, but that was hardly an issue in this matter. The health center, from my experience, is less than ideal, but they do do their job, and competently. That they could do with some improvement isn't really a factor either.
The death was a surprise because the onset was sudden, not due to some neglect on someone's part, with the possible exception of Amanda herself, and she's no more guilty than you or I would be in that same position. She didn't go to see a doctor because she thought it was nothing more than "the sniffles," until it was too late. Health insurance, or a bleeding-edge, extraordinarily friendly, highly efficient health center, would probably not have made any difference.
And that's the hardest bit of all. It was completely unexpected, and no one could have really done anything to prevent it. It was her time, and she, if no one else involved, met it well. The only one you can really blame in a case like this is God, and our lack of understanding of His reasoning in no way negates the purpose behind it. It is not our place to question Him in such matters, only to trust in His infinite wisdom.
It won't reduce the pain, and, if anything, it makes the death seem even more meaningless, but, on the other hand, if understanding the intricacies of life and death were easy, it wouldn't have been something that has enraptured man since time immemorial.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-13 11:16 am (UTC)I'm no good with this sort of thing; I'm sorry for your loss.