Dam I feel like a bastard....

[jackofallgeeks]

I just sent Claire a letter saying I telling her how I needed her. I feel so selfish for it. I fear it'll put pressure on her that doesn't need to be there. I care about her dearly, yes, but she's her own person. I'm sure I won't die without her, and the 'need' I feel is temporary - I feel scared and alone and I just need someone here to fix that. It's so dam selfish. It's the twisted ramblings of a dramatic mind under too much stress. I don't want anything between me and Claire to change - I love everything the way it is between us. I'm still just hurting, and that e-mail was another cry for help.

I did mean the rest, Claire, but you must realize that I over-dramatize alot, especially when I'm stressed or tired or excited. It may be wise to take a bit of everything I say with some salt....

Comments

[surichan.livejournal.com]

It's hardly selfish to need another person...try "human". Much as people like to tout self-sufficiency, I don't think most of us would be very happy, well-adjusted people if not for our need for others. I, for one, would love to hear that someone I loved needed me, and I'm sure Claire doesn't find the sentiment the least bit selfish on your part.

I hope you get to see her, though, Andrew. I hope you get to rest or cry or whatever you need to do. Good luck with it.