It's That Time Of The Month Again...
Jan. 24th, 2002 05:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackofallgeeksI've been thinking too dam much these past couple of days. Not about anything in particular, rather, more like everything in general. My head feels like it's going to burst, and I end the day confused and disoriented. I feel like I want to hit something, or maybe break something is more appropriate. I think I should maybe invest in a punching bad. I wonder if I'd ever use it.
I think, maybe, it's not so much thinking, as I feel like I'm under alot of stress. I don't know that I AM under alot of stress, but I feel like I am. And, in a sense, isn't one just the other? It'd prolly be a mix of stresses, from work and school and Lord only knows what else.
I said that I hadn't been thinking about anything in particular, but I think I'd have to argue that. You know, like I was confusing myself, or misleading myself. You ever have that - where it feels like you're mind's trying to outsmart you? There is one thing that's rather been fraying my nerves recently, and it's the same thing that's been etching on my mind for weeks now: The Twins. I sent each of them a letter a few days ago, and I've seen each of them on and offline since. Still, no replies. i'm sure there's a reason, other than they hate me. I'm sure of it. But the reassurance is lacking. I saw Becky online while I was at work, and she'd been sitting there for a while, so I thought I might IM her, t'say "hi" and maybe talk. Sadly, just as I IMed her, she got off - not in response to the IM, mind you, just bad timing. But bad timing or not, it's still frustrating.
And it bugs me that I have to come off as such an annoying little bug to these two. I mean, I don't know that they find me annoying, and I rather hope they don't, but think about it. I desperately want to be friends with them, the way we used to be before I moved, but I never get a chance to talk with them. I'm dreadfully afraid of drifting apart from them, so I try to say hi whenever I can, you know, let them know I'm still here, I guess. But I must come off as some kind of a creep who's ALWAYS there to bother them. It's so frustrating and discouraging, because I don't want to be so (I guess pushy's a good word) pushy about it, but I'm afraid that if I let up, that'll be it, and they'll go the way of oh so many friends I've had in my life, you know?
*Sigh* One more day. One more flipping day, and then Claire will be here, and I can relax, and unwind, and be comfortable again.
I still want to hit something.
I think, maybe, it's not so much thinking, as I feel like I'm under alot of stress. I don't know that I AM under alot of stress, but I feel like I am. And, in a sense, isn't one just the other? It'd prolly be a mix of stresses, from work and school and Lord only knows what else.
I said that I hadn't been thinking about anything in particular, but I think I'd have to argue that. You know, like I was confusing myself, or misleading myself. You ever have that - where it feels like you're mind's trying to outsmart you? There is one thing that's rather been fraying my nerves recently, and it's the same thing that's been etching on my mind for weeks now: The Twins. I sent each of them a letter a few days ago, and I've seen each of them on and offline since. Still, no replies. i'm sure there's a reason, other than they hate me. I'm sure of it. But the reassurance is lacking. I saw Becky online while I was at work, and she'd been sitting there for a while, so I thought I might IM her, t'say "hi" and maybe talk. Sadly, just as I IMed her, she got off - not in response to the IM, mind you, just bad timing. But bad timing or not, it's still frustrating.
And it bugs me that I have to come off as such an annoying little bug to these two. I mean, I don't know that they find me annoying, and I rather hope they don't, but think about it. I desperately want to be friends with them, the way we used to be before I moved, but I never get a chance to talk with them. I'm dreadfully afraid of drifting apart from them, so I try to say hi whenever I can, you know, let them know I'm still here, I guess. But I must come off as some kind of a creep who's ALWAYS there to bother them. It's so frustrating and discouraging, because I don't want to be so (I guess pushy's a good word) pushy about it, but I'm afraid that if I let up, that'll be it, and they'll go the way of oh so many friends I've had in my life, you know?
*Sigh* One more day. One more flipping day, and then Claire will be here, and I can relax, and unwind, and be comfortable again.
I still want to hit something.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
You'll make it one more day, of course, and things will get better and this will not be the most pressing thing in your mind this weekend. As for the stress... it sounds silly... but a large mug of tension tamer tea REALLY does the job. Add some honey and sugar and it's a great way to destress your mind, espevially before going to bed. I need at least one each day or I'm just a little beyond normal fatigue.