(no subject)

So, I'm twenty-four years old. I've earned both a Bachelor's degree and a Master's degree. I've been living on my own more-or-less for the last 6 years. I own my own car, manage my own finances, and I'm in the middle of buying a house. I don't consider myself "an adult" yet (a discussion for another time), but I also certainly don't consider myself a child.

I was at my parents' house this weekend. At some point before I got there, my parents had had a disagreement of sorts, and at some time after I arrived they had an honest fight. Now, this doesn't really surprise me, in one sense. In fact, it's perfectly reasonable that any two people will at times have misunderstandings and arguments, that feelings can be hurt and tempers can raise. I've seen it first-, second-, and third-hand for years.

When I heard mom and dad fighting, though... I didn't know how to deal with it. I felt like a scared little boy. I went up to the guest room, closed the door, and tried to read but I simply couldn't concentrate. I wanted nothing more than to curl up and cry.

It passed, mom and dad came to an understanding and before dinner everything was back to normal. I was struck by how deeply it had affected me, though. Even then it felt like how I imagine a small mid-west town feels after a tornado strikes, and house later I still wasn't quite back to my equilibrium. The very foundations of my world had been shaken. And like I said, I'm not some child; I'm a grown man who understands that his parents are real people. And even at that I was cut to the quick.

I think, maybe, I've never really experienced my parents fighting. If they fought when I was younger (which I'm sure they must have, to some extent), they either kept it to themselves, behind closed doors, or I simply succeeded in completely forgetting the incidents. Judging by how I was affected by it at my age and with my experience, it's no wonder that little children can be so traumatized by what, to their parents, is "only a little fight."

Searching for a needle in a needle stack.

I like MMOs.

I've played World of Warcraft, The Matrix Online, Guild Wars, Dungeon Runner, City of Heroes, City of Villains, and EVE Online.

Some are better than others. WoW has arguably the strongest base, but CoH/V gives you great control over customizing your character. GuildWars is subscriptionless and generally good; Dungeon Runner is subscriptionless and mediocre-at-best. EVE Online is a very cool idea, but comes of as dull and confusing. In fact, the only reason I've played EVE at all is because I got a free trial of it. After two days, I still don't know what I'm supposed to do or how to improve my character, so the odds of me *paying* for the game are slim.

The point is, though, offering a free trial is probably the best thing an MMO can do right now. "The first taste is free," and if your game can deliver then they'll come back for more. That's part of the trouble I'm having right now, or rather, that's the problem I wish I was having.

Tabula Rasa is out. It's a new MMO, big whup, but instead of being another Fantasy game (as it seems most MMOs are), they're taking a Sci-Fi track. That's nothing new, The Matrix Online and EVE Online are both Sci-Fi, but not being "another fantasy game" is at least a step in the right direction. In my opinion, Matrix was half-cocked and EVE is not-even but still, two points for effort. Tabula Rasa is even supposed to play less like a standard 3rd-person MMO and more like a 1st-person shooter -- hitting your target is still based on stats and die-rolls, but the look and feel (I'm told) is FPS. That's a good mark, too.

The trouble is, I can't seem to find a free trial to the game. Which is a HUGE obstacle to even giving the game a shot. To buy the software is $50 right now, and then to get a month's subscription is $15 additional. I'm unwilling to pay $65 on a game sight-unseen when there are other quasi-similar games that I already have a feel for. If it was, say, $20+$15, or maybe even $25+$15, then I might be willing to give it a shot, but $65 is just outrageous, *especially* when I have no idea what the game is actually *like*. If I'd paid $65 to get EVE Online I'd be pissed.

So, I'm stuck. I'd like to give Tabula Rasa a shot, I think it looks like good stuff, but I thought the same of EVE before I played it. I'm not saying that Tabula Rasa and any other MMO that tried to break onto the scene without a free trial is going to fail, per se, but I am saying it's unlikely that I'll be playing.

That being said, I'm going to hop onto CoH/V.

Edit: Apparently the $50 buy-in includes a month of playtime. That's still $35+$15, which at least brings it down to an almost-reasonable level. I still have my reservations.