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Rambling thoughts on February 14th
Feb. 14th, 2006 03:57 pmSo, Valentine's Day again.
You know, I think there's only been twice that I wasn't single on Valentine's day. It's a curious statistic.
It's become my habit, now, to write a little something on Valentine's Day, at least in part because my opinion of the day is rather split.
On the one hand, I see it as almost insulting. On Valentine's Day, you're either With someone, or you're not. If you're not, the day tends to just highlight your loneliness; an individual on a day devoted to pairs. And if you're With someone, frankly, you shouldn't need a day to allow you -- or remind you, as the case may be -- to be affectionate with the one you've paired with. I think it's actually a sad commentary on our society that we would need something like that.
But I have to concede that the world is like that, and sometimes you do need time set-aside in our busy lives, or it'll never get set aside. And that is sad, but for that, it's good to have Valentine's day. And, for my part, I think it's a good thing to have a day when random signs of affection are 'allowed.'
But, thinking today, I think my difficulties with the holiday come from a certain perspective on the point of the day; more to the point, they can be fixed with a shift in perspective.
I think the English language suffers from an acute lack of words for affection. We have the word 'love,' and only the word 'love,' which can mean significantly different meanings depending on the circumstances and objects involved. The Greeks had it good; no fewer than three different words for 'love,' from the passionate erotic love, to familiar love, to the love between friends. And I think that's the key there. My friend Leslie called February 14th "Love Day," and I think it's far more appropriate.
I am surrounded by love. No fewer than four of my friends are set to be married withing a year, and more than that are on their way, to say nothing of my married friends, and those already on their second or fourth child. I have a wide circle of friends, only a subset of whom are on this site, but all of whom I care very deeply for. And I have a family which is absolutely bursting with love, and cousins who mean more to me than I could properly express in words.
I could go on about how I've been hurt recently, and how that makes me scared. I could go on about how so many people seem to have what it is I lack and want, and it makes me jealous. But the point is that I don't want to be scared or jealous, and those negative emotions will do me no good. Instead, today I celebrate Love, and I remember all the love I do have, and have had, and hope to have in the future. And it's really a much brighter, happier way to look at February 14th.
In short, "I love you guys."
You know, I think there's only been twice that I wasn't single on Valentine's day. It's a curious statistic.
It's become my habit, now, to write a little something on Valentine's Day, at least in part because my opinion of the day is rather split.
On the one hand, I see it as almost insulting. On Valentine's Day, you're either With someone, or you're not. If you're not, the day tends to just highlight your loneliness; an individual on a day devoted to pairs. And if you're With someone, frankly, you shouldn't need a day to allow you -- or remind you, as the case may be -- to be affectionate with the one you've paired with. I think it's actually a sad commentary on our society that we would need something like that.
But I have to concede that the world is like that, and sometimes you do need time set-aside in our busy lives, or it'll never get set aside. And that is sad, but for that, it's good to have Valentine's day. And, for my part, I think it's a good thing to have a day when random signs of affection are 'allowed.'
But, thinking today, I think my difficulties with the holiday come from a certain perspective on the point of the day; more to the point, they can be fixed with a shift in perspective.
I think the English language suffers from an acute lack of words for affection. We have the word 'love,' and only the word 'love,' which can mean significantly different meanings depending on the circumstances and objects involved. The Greeks had it good; no fewer than three different words for 'love,' from the passionate erotic love, to familiar love, to the love between friends. And I think that's the key there. My friend Leslie called February 14th "Love Day," and I think it's far more appropriate.
I am surrounded by love. No fewer than four of my friends are set to be married withing a year, and more than that are on their way, to say nothing of my married friends, and those already on their second or fourth child. I have a wide circle of friends, only a subset of whom are on this site, but all of whom I care very deeply for. And I have a family which is absolutely bursting with love, and cousins who mean more to me than I could properly express in words.
I could go on about how I've been hurt recently, and how that makes me scared. I could go on about how so many people seem to have what it is I lack and want, and it makes me jealous. But the point is that I don't want to be scared or jealous, and those negative emotions will do me no good. Instead, today I celebrate Love, and I remember all the love I do have, and have had, and hope to have in the future. And it's really a much brighter, happier way to look at February 14th.
In short, "I love you guys."
