Rambling thoughts on February 14th
Feb. 14th, 2006 03:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackofallgeeksSo, Valentine's Day again.
You know, I think there's only been twice that I wasn't single on Valentine's day. It's a curious statistic.
It's become my habit, now, to write a little something on Valentine's Day, at least in part because my opinion of the day is rather split.
On the one hand, I see it as almost insulting. On Valentine's Day, you're either With someone, or you're not. If you're not, the day tends to just highlight your loneliness; an individual on a day devoted to pairs. And if you're With someone, frankly, you shouldn't need a day to allow you -- or remind you, as the case may be -- to be affectionate with the one you've paired with. I think it's actually a sad commentary on our society that we would need something like that.
But I have to concede that the world is like that, and sometimes you do need time set-aside in our busy lives, or it'll never get set aside. And that is sad, but for that, it's good to have Valentine's day. And, for my part, I think it's a good thing to have a day when random signs of affection are 'allowed.'
But, thinking today, I think my difficulties with the holiday come from a certain perspective on the point of the day; more to the point, they can be fixed with a shift in perspective.
I think the English language suffers from an acute lack of words for affection. We have the word 'love,' and only the word 'love,' which can mean significantly different meanings depending on the circumstances and objects involved. The Greeks had it good; no fewer than three different words for 'love,' from the passionate erotic love, to familiar love, to the love between friends. And I think that's the key there. My friend Leslie called February 14th "Love Day," and I think it's far more appropriate.
I am surrounded by love. No fewer than four of my friends are set to be married withing a year, and more than that are on their way, to say nothing of my married friends, and those already on their second or fourth child. I have a wide circle of friends, only a subset of whom are on this site, but all of whom I care very deeply for. And I have a family which is absolutely bursting with love, and cousins who mean more to me than I could properly express in words.
I could go on about how I've been hurt recently, and how that makes me scared. I could go on about how so many people seem to have what it is I lack and want, and it makes me jealous. But the point is that I don't want to be scared or jealous, and those negative emotions will do me no good. Instead, today I celebrate Love, and I remember all the love I do have, and have had, and hope to have in the future. And it's really a much brighter, happier way to look at February 14th.
In short, "I love you guys."
You know, I think there's only been twice that I wasn't single on Valentine's day. It's a curious statistic.
It's become my habit, now, to write a little something on Valentine's Day, at least in part because my opinion of the day is rather split.
On the one hand, I see it as almost insulting. On Valentine's Day, you're either With someone, or you're not. If you're not, the day tends to just highlight your loneliness; an individual on a day devoted to pairs. And if you're With someone, frankly, you shouldn't need a day to allow you -- or remind you, as the case may be -- to be affectionate with the one you've paired with. I think it's actually a sad commentary on our society that we would need something like that.
But I have to concede that the world is like that, and sometimes you do need time set-aside in our busy lives, or it'll never get set aside. And that is sad, but for that, it's good to have Valentine's day. And, for my part, I think it's a good thing to have a day when random signs of affection are 'allowed.'
But, thinking today, I think my difficulties with the holiday come from a certain perspective on the point of the day; more to the point, they can be fixed with a shift in perspective.
I think the English language suffers from an acute lack of words for affection. We have the word 'love,' and only the word 'love,' which can mean significantly different meanings depending on the circumstances and objects involved. The Greeks had it good; no fewer than three different words for 'love,' from the passionate erotic love, to familiar love, to the love between friends. And I think that's the key there. My friend Leslie called February 14th "Love Day," and I think it's far more appropriate.
I am surrounded by love. No fewer than four of my friends are set to be married withing a year, and more than that are on their way, to say nothing of my married friends, and those already on their second or fourth child. I have a wide circle of friends, only a subset of whom are on this site, but all of whom I care very deeply for. And I have a family which is absolutely bursting with love, and cousins who mean more to me than I could properly express in words.
I could go on about how I've been hurt recently, and how that makes me scared. I could go on about how so many people seem to have what it is I lack and want, and it makes me jealous. But the point is that I don't want to be scared or jealous, and those negative emotions will do me no good. Instead, today I celebrate Love, and I remember all the love I do have, and have had, and hope to have in the future. And it's really a much brighter, happier way to look at February 14th.
In short, "I love you guys."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-02-15 01:03 am (UTC)that being said, i haven't told you today (here) that i love you. but i do, andrew. ::hugs::
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Date: 2006-02-15 01:08 am (UTC)That having been said, I love your icon.
And I love you, too.
And I hope your time where you are is going as well as I imagine it is.
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Date: 2006-02-15 01:15 am (UTC)one of these days, i need to take the greyhound down to see *you*. though good grief, the trip is such a killer. the more time that passes, the more i realize i need to live with and/or near tish. 20hrs by greyhound isn't kind.
♥ talk to you soon.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-15 01:36 am (UTC)If we could coordinate the timing, *I* should go up and see *you*. It would probably be a much simpler feat, and spare you a greyhound trip (or two).
:p I've been meaning to call you all week, actually; knowing you were gone, I was going to leave you a goofy message on your machine, but I've chickened out thus far.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-15 06:30 am (UTC)Ooh! Take me! Take me!! I wanna go see Mel!!
I swear, one of the plane tickets I buy this year is gonna be to California, and I will see the pair of you - maybe even together!! ♥
no subject
Date: 2006-02-15 06:33 am (UTC)Woah!
Dude!
We could RENT A CAR!
We could ROAD TRIP up to see Mel!
Dude, that could be so awesome!
Dude!
Road Trip!
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Date: 2006-02-15 07:01 am (UTC)so much love!
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Date: 2006-02-15 07:05 am (UTC)That's how you can tell it's a good night.
*nods sagely, then giggles*
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Date: 2006-02-15 07:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-15 01:10 pm (UTC)Okay, this is happening. With all deliberate speed. A road trip with you? To see Mel? ZOMFG.
Let me get things sorted with when my classes are ending, when my summer classes are starting, when I could get off work, and when I'm seeing Alex each month, and we will make concrete plans.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-15 05:30 pm (UTC)I've year-round school. Doesn't mean I can't fudge a few corners here and there, but it does mean we're best to try and do it over some weekend. I, uhm, also don't have a bed et, but you're welcome to the mattress if you sleep here.
Ideally, to maximize Actual Time, I it would be grand for you to fly in on a Thursday Evening and fly out on a Monday, the biggest troubles just being that I have no car, to taxi service (by professionals to friendly amateurs) would have to be procured. (The airport can't be more than 5 miles away, though.)
I also think that when this happens, we should figure out how long it takes from Here to Mel and burn music half-and-half appropriately. :p
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Date: 2006-02-15 07:02 am (UTC)[and at some point we *must* meet. it is fated, darling.]
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Date: 2006-02-15 01:07 pm (UTC)[yes, it absolutely is. and I'm hugely fond of taking fate into my own hands. :3 so, soon, yes.]
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Date: 2006-02-15 06:59 am (UTC)hehe, my mom (who is home and might just answer the phone if you call) would be SO AMUSED. you'd be the first boy to call me in... uh... well, since 1999?
love!
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Date: 2006-02-15 07:03 am (UTC)That's not even cool! Gah!
Ha ha ha. See, that's exactly why I don't call; I don't want her to pick up. Cause then I'd be all, "Uhm, hey Mel's mom. Howzu? I was just gonna leave a message. Er, do you have a pen?" :p
But maybe I'll call, just to amuse her. Not now, mind; it's late.
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Date: 2006-02-15 06:19 pm (UTC)...okay, yes, I just tried to 'spread the love' to females. Sorry, I guess I'm just not that secure with masculinity. :P
The POINT being, that they all appreciated what I did and realized what I was doing. That it wasn't some overt attempt to hit on them, but just to recognize the bond between us. The celebrate the 'affectionate love' instead of the 'romantic love' as you put it.
Valentine's Day has been a great holiday for me ever since. :)