Thoughts from a Resisting Mind

Hard work will yield results one day. Procrastination yields results immediately.

Procrastination is like masturbation -- in the end, you're just screwing yourself.

So, right, I've finally started on the 5-page paper I need to write for Metaphysics by the end of the week. Well, physically started; I've been researching and taking notes for two week now, but I just started writing it. Though, it's on the computer, which is digital, so it's not really physical...

Yes, it seems I am procrastinating. Trying to get motivated to think, or something.

I've been thinking a lot lately. About Suzannah in great part, as I'm sure none of you are surprised to hear. Donno what to say on that topic, though. I guess, on the one hand, waiting promises at least the possibility of good things in time. On the other hand, I've come to recognize that I'm not a very patient man; I need to work on that. On the other hand, I have every intention of remaining friends with her (yes, in hopes that it may become more). On the other hand, I don't know if I can or should hold my tongue about my thoughts and feelings towards her. On yet another hand, I wish I could see her now, because I like spending time with her... I'm not sure what my prospects of spending time with her are going to be in the coming months.

I've also been thinking a lot about my friends. I talked with my roomie Mike a bit about this, and then a bit more with Anastasiya... I really feel... 'removed' from a lot of my friends these days. I haven't seen those I have most affection for (Rachel, Leslie, Louis, Meredith, Alyce...) in quite some time. I haven't really talked with anyone, verbally or otherwise, in about as long a time. I don't know, really, what any of my friends are doing in their lives (aside from Rachel getting out of classes, Alyce becoming a Ranger, and Leslie playing Tour Guide). I haven't talked to Claire in weeks-upon-weeks, it seems, and I haven't seen her in months.

In addition... I've been thinking... I donno. Sometimes, I'm not sure how much I like my friends. That sounds like a horrible thing to say, and I don't mean it exactly how it sounds, but... It's like, sometimes, it seems that the people I hang out with aren't really people I want to hang out with, you know...? It isn't really a cohesive thought yet, but... And yet, on another hand (I think I'm up to twelve after that discussion of Suzannah), doesn't it make me something of a fair-weather friend if I would just abandon someone because, I don't know, I don't like who they are/have become? Isn't it part of being a friend to help your friends improve themselves? But what if they don't want to improve?

I have seen my family; I love my family. Tina's growing into a lovely young lady, even if she is a bit scatter-brained at times. -smiles- Sometimes more than 'at times.' Josh and I chat randomly online when he's home... He's a cool guy... I really like my family, extended and otherwise...

I think I'm wrung out all the thoughts I can here.. Class in 45 minutes, I should see about working on this paper more before I go. It's going to be so rough-shod. As long as it gets me a B, though, I think I'll be happy enough...