I can't fucking believe it!!

What the fuck?!
I'm about this fucking close to just saying 'skrew this' and giving up. It's not fucking worth it. I already know that she's not right for me, why the fuck does she have to continually PROVE the fact to me? I'm getting fucking tired of fighting so hard to keep some sort of relationship up, only to have her kick me in the fucking shin every time I think I'm getting somewhere. I'm getting fucking sick of trying to show her that she's going to be alright, that there will be others out there, and to have this sort of shit thrown at me every fucking time. She's so fucking inconsistant.
It's not fucking worth it.

I'm sure you all have a general idea of what's going on. I'll post more, and in greater depth, after I'm out of work.

On the plus side, I suppose, there's no great worry about me fucking trying to go back to her.

Obcsure MtG Rule

"A token's owner is the player who controlled the spell or ability that put it into play."

The Other Post (Part 1)

So, here's the deal... It started after Return of The King, which really was just yesterday. I was skimming my Friends' Journal, when I saw this:

( What If I Told You... )

This seemed pretty squarely directed at me. Anastasiya, I think, had wanted me to stay the night instead of immediately driving home. I wanted to stay, to, but I left because I knew I'd be disappointed if I stayed. I hugged her, as I noted in my post, and was upset that she didn't hug back. I responded with this:

( If I Said I Missed You... )

It was an open post, but it was obviously directed toward her, and obviously in reply to her post -- the subjects were even made similar. Anyways, we continued to play the LiveJournal game. This time, she posted the following, and IMed me to tell me to check LJ:

( Every time I think about this... )

A Usual Wonder is a wonderful Russian movie about a princess and a bear and a magician... It's grand, and I love it, and if I can ever find a subbed DVD copy, I will get it. Anyways, I won't say she sounds like how I remember myself after Claire, but she does. In the first paragraph or two easily. No so much with the running, and loving repeatedly, that's all her. But it sounded to me as though maybe we were both hurting, maybe there was some commonality left there...

The Other Post (Part 2)

[Doing this in two parts, cause either LJ or DSL suxor]

So I wrote to her, this time in Email, because the game was done. I wrote this:

( It's difficult for me to explain... )

So, I basically said it as it is... again. I don't know, there's ony so many ways you can say 'the sky is blue.' But I figured I'd said my part, and if things went the way they were headed, maybe we'd come to an understanding, and this whole issue would dissolve.

The Other Post (Part 3)

[A third post, cause maybe this is really alot longer than I thought...]

To say the leas, that wasn't to be the case. She wrote the following, again in LJ.

( You are the only one who can read this... )

So now I'm sitting here getting really angry, and I'm about ready to just say 'screw it,' and be done with her. ( I'm getting sick of this drama... )

Screw this, I'm getting angry, and I'm going to say something I don't mean.