(no subject)

"It pays really well, like 14 an hour, but it's fucking hard work. These bundles of roof tiles weigh more than most of my friends. Plus the sunlight and heat reflects right off of those shingles. After the second day, I got a nasty sunburn..."

Yeah, I just feel a little bit guilty about my job... But then I remember that he's a Media Studies Major, and I feel OK again.
-GRINS-

The Time Has Come...

Well, I suppose a few of you are wondering how things went.
Those who aren't need not read this post.

I showed up at Claire's, as planned, at 6:30, and we went out to dinner with her family. We had intended, I believe, to go to a beffet type-place, but when we arrived, it was closed. So, we ended up going to a Chinese restaurant. Claire and I talked all through dinner, just chatting about everything and nothing. It was really nice. I ate some of Paul's dinner, too.

After dinner, Claire and I went back to her house, and then went for a walk t'gether around her neighborhood. We talked for hours out there, catching up and stuff. She's... got this soothing effect on me. When she's near, nothing's wrong. I could tell her anything, easily, and Rachel could vouche for how difficult that can be for me.

Andrew: Heh, I could think of an example easy enough, but then I'd feel
awkward...
Claire: Oh go on. You know you want to say it. Don't make me beat you up.
Andrew: Well, OK... let's say, hypothetically, there was this girl who I was
insanely in love with, and we broke up, and now I'm thinking that was a bad
move, and I would do anything possible to get back together with her.
Regardless of the fact that I don't know what I want, or how it could work
out, I just wish I was with her again. But, she seems happy with how things
are, and here I am, miserable... And I can't do anything, because the one
person who I would take this to, and the one person who could ease the pain,
is the one who's causing the issues...
Claire: And this is all hypothetical, right?

So I told her, in those words, that I still love her, and that I want to get back with her, if we could... But things are a bit odd right now... She's got a new boyfriend, as we know, and that hurts me a bit... I think, right now, the best angle to take is to be honest with her -- tell her I have every intention of trying to get back with her -- but letting up a bit and keeping things casual. She considers me a dear friend, and as long as I can rewmember WHO she is (Claire) and not just WHAT she is (the girl I love), I'll do OK.

I love her. I love who she is, and who she makes me want to be.
At the very least, I don't want to lose her from my life.

I'm not making much sense, I fear.