The Time Has Come...

[jackofallgeeks]

Well, I suppose a few of you are wondering how things went.
Those who aren't need not read this post.

I showed up at Claire's, as planned, at 6:30, and we went out to dinner with her family. We had intended, I believe, to go to a beffet type-place, but when we arrived, it was closed. So, we ended up going to a Chinese restaurant. Claire and I talked all through dinner, just chatting about everything and nothing. It was really nice. I ate some of Paul's dinner, too.

After dinner, Claire and I went back to her house, and then went for a walk t'gether around her neighborhood. We talked for hours out there, catching up and stuff. She's... got this soothing effect on me. When she's near, nothing's wrong. I could tell her anything, easily, and Rachel could vouche for how difficult that can be for me.

Andrew: Heh, I could think of an example easy enough, but then I'd feel
awkward...
Claire: Oh go on. You know you want to say it. Don't make me beat you up.
Andrew: Well, OK... let's say, hypothetically, there was this girl who I was
insanely in love with, and we broke up, and now I'm thinking that was a bad
move, and I would do anything possible to get back together with her.
Regardless of the fact that I don't know what I want, or how it could work
out, I just wish I was with her again. But, she seems happy with how things
are, and here I am, miserable... And I can't do anything, because the one
person who I would take this to, and the one person who could ease the pain,
is the one who's causing the issues...
Claire: And this is all hypothetical, right?

So I told her, in those words, that I still love her, and that I want to get back with her, if we could... But things are a bit odd right now... She's got a new boyfriend, as we know, and that hurts me a bit... I think, right now, the best angle to take is to be honest with her -- tell her I have every intention of trying to get back with her -- but letting up a bit and keeping things casual. She considers me a dear friend, and as long as I can rewmember WHO she is (Claire) and not just WHAT she is (the girl I love), I'll do OK.

I love her. I love who she is, and who she makes me want to be.
At the very least, I don't want to lose her from my life.

I'm not making much sense, I fear.

Comments

[otakulk.livejournal.com]

why don't you just tell her instead of playing games?

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

-shakes head- You misinterpreted. She's not stupid -- she knew exactly what I was saying. And I intended it that way.

[otakulk.livejournal.com]

yeah I caught that, but don't you thin kits time to be forward about it?

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

Well, one might ask what you mean by 'be forward about it.' This clip isn't the end-all of the evening we spent together, but for the time being I thought I'd skip all the times I would just put my arms around her and say "Claire, I love you."

I thought it'd be a bit sappy, otherwise.  ^_^;;