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Absentee Ballot
Apr. 17th, 2003 11:54 pmSo, right, I've been a bit absent again lately... That tends to happen when I get a break... Durring school I'm always around, but I get a few days off and I just vanish...
But that's not all of it this time, not really. It's.... hard to explain, and I'll sound more down than I really am if I try. I haven't been... up to talking much, or something. I just... -shrugs- Don't feel like I have anything to say, and that kinda bothers me because I always have something to say. I sit here, behind the veil, wanting to talk, and at the same time wanting very much not to. It's not you; it's me.
I just... Don't know. I don't know much at all. And as much as I 'know' I just need a friend, another part of me.... wants to be isolated. Not just alone, but cut off. That bothers me too. I often want to be alone. I never want to be isolated.
Well, almost never, it seems.
Sometimes, I sit here and think, "if I was a part of your world, things would be OK again."
Something about that thought has slipped, it doesn't ring true right now.
I... don't know if I like who I've been lately. Not that anyone here would know. No one... -shrugs- No one's around, you know?
Yeah, I do sound more depressed than I am. Last night I stayed at my family's, over in Temporary Housing. It was cool, though Tim was being a pain about which bed he wanted to sleep in. Today was really cool, too. We all went over to Tina's for an afternoon of Magic: The Gathering. Tina had her friends -- Ann, Katie, James, and Josh -- come over. The ladies (Tina excepted) didn't play, but they guys were pretty sweet. Neither of them really understoon Multi-player formats too well, but it all ran OK. The last game we played an Emperor's game, and my whole team was running Sliver Decks. Rock. Even then, though, Josh's Elves held up really well -- disturbingly well. It was grand.
But, yeah, I'm going to go shave, shower, and go to bed. ^_^;; I just.... Don't think I can explain how I feel right now.
But that's not all of it this time, not really. It's.... hard to explain, and I'll sound more down than I really am if I try. I haven't been... up to talking much, or something. I just... -shrugs- Don't feel like I have anything to say, and that kinda bothers me because I always have something to say. I sit here, behind the veil, wanting to talk, and at the same time wanting very much not to. It's not you; it's me.
I just... Don't know. I don't know much at all. And as much as I 'know' I just need a friend, another part of me.... wants to be isolated. Not just alone, but cut off. That bothers me too. I often want to be alone. I never want to be isolated.
Well, almost never, it seems.
Sometimes, I sit here and think, "if I was a part of your world, things would be OK again."
Something about that thought has slipped, it doesn't ring true right now.
I... don't know if I like who I've been lately. Not that anyone here would know. No one... -shrugs- No one's around, you know?
Yeah, I do sound more depressed than I am. Last night I stayed at my family's, over in Temporary Housing. It was cool, though Tim was being a pain about which bed he wanted to sleep in. Today was really cool, too. We all went over to Tina's for an afternoon of Magic: The Gathering. Tina had her friends -- Ann, Katie, James, and Josh -- come over. The ladies (Tina excepted) didn't play, but they guys were pretty sweet. Neither of them really understoon Multi-player formats too well, but it all ran OK. The last game we played an Emperor's game, and my whole team was running Sliver Decks. Rock. Even then, though, Josh's Elves held up really well -- disturbingly well. It was grand.
But, yeah, I'm going to go shave, shower, and go to bed. ^_^;; I just.... Don't think I can explain how I feel right now.
