Inner Look at Last Night

You know, I think last night was actually a really, really good night.
First and foremost, I got to talk with both Rachel and Mere. ^_^;; Those girls never fail to make me happy, and I can't really say what it is. Alot of the time, I fear the age difference between Mere and I (6 or 7 years) makes a relationship hard, but there are times when I feel we really make a connection. ::Shrugs:: I donno. And Rachel is just one of my dearest friend, and even when she doesn't say anything, it's good to know she's there. Ha, and if Kate would even send me word that she's still breathing, that would be cool, too. I love those girls.

Secondly, I would note my short conversation with Becky. Not the Croft, this Becky is one of the girls I met early last year, and someone I consider to be of my closest friends here on Campus. Anyways, she was talking about a friend who's comming to visit this weekend from home, and said he was the coolest guy she knew - aside from me. I kinda laughed and said I would be really flattered if I thought she was sincere, and she said "You sent me a Scare-Gram, you rock!!" and when I said she KNEW I was going to, she was like "Yeah, but you followed through with it. That's cool." And so I was reminded that I still have the ability to make people truely happy, at times.

Thirdly would be my conversation with Sara. Granted it was odd, and the practicality of all that was implied in it, I'm sure, is quite slim. However, it was nice to hear her say she thought I was a good guy - and I know you all tell me the same constantly (I noted the fact to Sara, as well) - but she thought that I would be a decent guy for her little sister, and I guess that kinda make me feel good. ^_^;; Even in a general way, it's like it helped cement the fact that, just maybe, there ARE other girls out there that I could be interested in that might be interested in me, as well.

Finally, there was Claire. I didn't say anything about it in my last post, but I actually got a bit upset with her last night. And while being upset with her isn't good (I don't WANT to be angry with anyone) the fact that I did, and that I could perhapse... Well, what happened was this:
We were talking about how our plans might be afected by my recently discovered exam schedual. I had figured that it wouldn't be a hassle to me if I went down to see her Friday and then ran back up to take my exam, and then finshed the weekend with her. She noted that her mom wouldn't like me doing such, to which I pointed out - it's really my own buisness what I do. And, really, it has never been her mother's favor I was working towards, even less so now, I should think. So I asked if she didn't want me comming down, and she said not if I had that exam. I pointed out to her that I was confident in my plan, and she said it was unacceptable.
This made me upset.

There are two implications that coiuld be made there - (1) that Claire doesn't really want me comming down in the first place. This implication would have made me sad, but I passed it over as I have a little more Faith in Claire's integrity. (2) That Claire thinks she can make my decicions better than I can. This ticks me off. I don't like anyone trying to direct my life - you can not and do not know everything that's involved in my choices. Even if you did, I have my own set of priorities, for whatever reason, and if I decide one supercedes another in my eyes, who are you to say otherwise? Finally, even given all that - while I appreciate people caring and offering advice - I am under no obligation to listen to any of it, and in the end I'm going to make my own mistakes, and you do me few favors by trying to tell me which way to go. It's my choice.
Few things get me upset, but this is one of them.

So, yeah, like I said - I didn't like being upset with Claire, but maybe it had some significance simply for the fact that I COULD get angry with her. I'm really a very affectionate person, and I attach myself easily... in a way, perhaps it's good to know I am still my own person.

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Hey, my mail's been skrewwy - if anyone sent me anything in the last two days, chances are I didn't get it. Whee.