My Soul Is Destroyed

That. Was such. A good. Movie.

Granted, the languge was, uhm, not my style. And the subject matter was...awkward? I SO should have seen that comming, from Leslie's Werewolf character...Why is it always the cute ones, dam nit? But it was a really good movie. Really good.

And it had Jay and Silent Bob! ^_^ Poor Banky. Poor, poor Banky. All he wanted was his friend. Uhm...right. ^_-

I'm rather upset on how it turned out. She was right to do as she did. In an odd way, I can completely relate to every last character in that move (except maybe everyone's favorite stoner...).

I must say, though, it's a DAM good thing she didn't go for it -- Banky's not the type-a guy I'd want to see in that, uhm, position....riiiiiight......

I feel bad for not watching these in order. Mall Rats, then Chasing Amy (Poor, poor Silent Bob) -- next it's almost inevitable that I should see Dogma - the movie which I must see but it's undeniable I'll be offended. It's only a movie, it's only a movie, it's only a - what the Eff?! That's not what it's like! Pretty dam close, I'll admit, but you've got it all wrong.

"Brenda?" "Dick."
"...I figure I'll save him the effort..."
"A skimmer IS a sailboat."
"It could get wild here - a nun just called a small child a...."

"I finally had something personal to say."

Everything And Nothing

In between everything and nothing, that is where I am.
Between the past and the future, this moment and the next. Centered in the spiraling stasis of change, I have an answer for everything and know nothing. Between wake and dream, between birth and death - between living and being alive. I see it all clearly, but none of it makes sense. Between child and adult, serious and humorous, exactly as expected and ironically inaccurate.
In between everything and nothing, that is where I am.

Outnumbered, Take Two

I'm feeling it again, though not as oppressively as I did before. But, it seems the great majority of my good friends, the people I really like being around, my friends - most of them are on 'the other side of the fence' if you will. I dare say most of the people I grew up with are on The Other Side. And I don't get it. I don't get how I could, not so much attract different-minded people, but in that I haven't attracted like-minded people. Maybe I just haven't really been exposed to like-minded people. Is the traditional way of thinking really dying so hard?

It brings up questions though - if I've never been exposed to people who think like I do (AJ from 4th grade was on The Other Side, so it's not a new thing) then how did I come to be who I am? Some would say it's family influence, that I think the way I do because my parents think that way. Is that so bad, really? But the implications insult me - it implies that everyone else in the world thinks for themselves, while I just follow along with 'The Crowd' - my family. Funny, though, considering most of society seems to be on The Other Side.

The problem I find, though, in expressing myself on this point, is the friction it generates. It seems to me that most of my friends live on the basis that no one can ever be wrong, simply - everyone is right. There is no objective truth because everything is on a case-by-case basis.

I can't comprehend that - it goes against non-contradiction, the idea that something can't both be and not be at the same time in the same way. You can't have something that IS red and IS NOT red, something that IS human and ISN'T human, something that IS living and NOT living. One may argue that that's not the case in point, but something can't both be RIGHT and WRONG at the same time, and yet it's stated that everyone is right, even when people OBVIOUSLY disagree. It boggles my mind how someone can truly believe that and not go insane thinking about it.

In a simplistic, basic way of looking at it, I believe that there is one truth, something that is right regardless of situation or circumstance - and when I say "one truth" it's not to imply that there is one single statement I can phrase for you that covers all the bases. But there are things that are objectively true and false. And it fits our reality. Gravity works towards the center of the earth, regardless of where you are or what you may thing. Regardless of personal paradigm (as shown by many a stoner...) people can't simply fly of their own power. At the very least we need a hang-glider (though, that's not truly flying).

But most of the people I associate seem to believe the former - that whatever you think is right 'for you', and that no one has the right to 'impose' morality over someone, or that we can't really KNOW anything. My way of looking at the world does open up the possibility for problems, and disharmony - people can and will be wrong. But look at the world - there is disharmony. People do argue, and worse. I'm not saying it's right for the world to be like this, I'm not saying we can't all agree (assuming we all agree on the truth), but I AM saying that we can't all be right. Even if we're all wrong, even if we all miss the mark, we can't be so disparate AND all be correct. It doesn't work like that.

It seems to me that many people respect my way of thinking, but few of them agree with me. I suppose that's just their position, after all, isn't it?

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On A Closing Note....
I fear more and more that I'm alienating my friends, which is the last thing I wanted. Nothing has changed, I am the same as are you, but my thoughts have been spread on the table. I question the wisdom of that act with each successive post. Honesty or no, I do not wish to lose my friends, even those just recently made. I pray that my journal does not completely die, due to intellectual paralysis or apathy.