When You Assume
Jan. 8th, 2003 03:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackofallgeeksYou Make An Ass Out Of You And Me
Whether or not it comes as a shock to any of you, I find it excruciatingly difficult to express myself, especially in as far as my feelings are concerned. I'd admit, I LIKE to, as I've since found that I take great pains to try and be understood. It can be quite frustrating at times, especially when there's no confirmation that anyone's listening.
I understand how busy people are, but I don't like feeling as though I'm being ignored. Perhaps a bit because of pride, but also because it takes so much effort for me to come out and SAY things. Case in point, ask Rachel about that 3am conversation we had so many years ago about Emily. I'm not being figurative when I say it hurts.
Maybe you'll remember (mabe you won't) that I'd sent a letter to Ms. Croft, likely in some half-crazed attempt to be understood. That was near the beginning of this journal, and, though I've spoken in passing with both sisters, I still haven't recieved any word from her either way on that damnable letter. It torments me to this day.
One of the things I struggle the hardest with is assumption. Assumption of anything, really. Unless you come out and ask point-blank (and get a straight answer, mind you) how can you be sure how another person percieves a given situation? I like to be optomistic and assume the best, but... well, if it's not as one assumes, it causes problems. And if one assumes the worst and it's not... you can't win. If you question, they think you doubt, and the two aren't the same thing...
I'm not making any sense... I just don't like... I can't stand a monologue. I need interaction.
I don't like feeling ignored.
Whether or not it comes as a shock to any of you, I find it excruciatingly difficult to express myself, especially in as far as my feelings are concerned. I'd admit, I LIKE to, as I've since found that I take great pains to try and be understood. It can be quite frustrating at times, especially when there's no confirmation that anyone's listening.
I understand how busy people are, but I don't like feeling as though I'm being ignored. Perhaps a bit because of pride, but also because it takes so much effort for me to come out and SAY things. Case in point, ask Rachel about that 3am conversation we had so many years ago about Emily. I'm not being figurative when I say it hurts.
Maybe you'll remember (mabe you won't) that I'd sent a letter to Ms. Croft, likely in some half-crazed attempt to be understood. That was near the beginning of this journal, and, though I've spoken in passing with both sisters, I still haven't recieved any word from her either way on that damnable letter. It torments me to this day.
One of the things I struggle the hardest with is assumption. Assumption of anything, really. Unless you come out and ask point-blank (and get a straight answer, mind you) how can you be sure how another person percieves a given situation? I like to be optomistic and assume the best, but... well, if it's not as one assumes, it causes problems. And if one assumes the worst and it's not... you can't win. If you question, they think you doubt, and the two aren't the same thing...
I'm not making any sense... I just don't like... I can't stand a monologue. I need interaction.
I don't like feeling ignored.
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no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 08:27 pm (UTC)The fact that you can recognize that is good. Life is never quite as bad as it appears to us in our darkest hours. ::claps you on the back:: There's hope for you yet, young man!
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Date: 2003-01-09 09:11 pm (UTC)