Confessions
Oct. 22nd, 2002 05:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackofallgeeksOK, I'm going to say a few things that I've been meaning to say, but I always get to emotional, and that just taints my words.
First, I miss Claire. I miss what we had, and I miss knowing that she cares. It hurts that I don't feel like she wants me around anymore - and if not, that's fine, things change. But it still hurts. For what it's worth, I am making a concious effort to move on (as you might notice from my posts) and I've decided that as much as Claire is a wonderful girl, and is the girl I want, there are some things I need that she can't provide, and I'm sure it's a mutual condition. She still means alot to me, and I'm just afraid I'll lose another friend. ... I'm getting emotional, we move on...
Second, I feel neglected, in general, but I don't want to say so because it sounds too much like I'm feeling sorry for myself. I know you all have your own lives, and I don't expect anything. It's just they you all ARE by dearest friends, and so when I don't get an e-mail, or IMs, or comments from you for a while... ::Shrugs:: I get into a funk. I know I'm not the best at keeping in touch, either, but...
Thirdly, I don't want to make a Judgement on The Collective, Beth, Rae, and Leslie, but I do think that they need more proactive time apart. I think recent events (read: Logan and Teal and such) are a grand step in the right direction. I don't want to see any of you, I donno, get messed up or something. Right, that makes sense.
Additionally, and again I mean not to judge, but I find the situation concerning Paul unbearable. I agree he's an ass, a slacker, a jerk-off, and a complete loser. But that having been said, I don't see any reason for bashing him or even nessisarily letting him get under your skin. So what if he's rude, that's his own problem, and it shall be his downfall if not corrected. But in a way, I can't help but see everything I hated in 4th and 5th grade embodied in the attacks my friends make on him - behind his back perhaps even worse than to his face - and I don't like seeing my friends in that position. I just think there's a better way to handle the situation, somewhere.
Thanks, this has really helped me out, I think. I need just to be more honest about myself and my feelings, maybe. You all are my dearest friends, and I miss you. ^_^;;
I go now, before I get fluffy.
First, I miss Claire. I miss what we had, and I miss knowing that she cares. It hurts that I don't feel like she wants me around anymore - and if not, that's fine, things change. But it still hurts. For what it's worth, I am making a concious effort to move on (as you might notice from my posts) and I've decided that as much as Claire is a wonderful girl, and is the girl I want, there are some things I need that she can't provide, and I'm sure it's a mutual condition. She still means alot to me, and I'm just afraid I'll lose another friend. ... I'm getting emotional, we move on...
Second, I feel neglected, in general, but I don't want to say so because it sounds too much like I'm feeling sorry for myself. I know you all have your own lives, and I don't expect anything. It's just they you all ARE by dearest friends, and so when I don't get an e-mail, or IMs, or comments from you for a while... ::Shrugs:: I get into a funk. I know I'm not the best at keeping in touch, either, but...
Thirdly, I don't want to make a Judgement on The Collective, Beth, Rae, and Leslie, but I do think that they need more proactive time apart. I think recent events (read: Logan and Teal and such) are a grand step in the right direction. I don't want to see any of you, I donno, get messed up or something. Right, that makes sense.
Additionally, and again I mean not to judge, but I find the situation concerning Paul unbearable. I agree he's an ass, a slacker, a jerk-off, and a complete loser. But that having been said, I don't see any reason for bashing him or even nessisarily letting him get under your skin. So what if he's rude, that's his own problem, and it shall be his downfall if not corrected. But in a way, I can't help but see everything I hated in 4th and 5th grade embodied in the attacks my friends make on him - behind his back perhaps even worse than to his face - and I don't like seeing my friends in that position. I just think there's a better way to handle the situation, somewhere.
Thanks, this has really helped me out, I think. I need just to be more honest about myself and my feelings, maybe. You all are my dearest friends, and I miss you. ^_^;;
I go now, before I get fluffy.
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no subject
It's good to get your feelings/thoughts out somewhere. I've learned the very hard way that when you shove everything inside (as I tend to do more than everyone even notes) ... you can actually cause yourself to be really sick, nevermind the toll it takes on your fragile mental status. It's a weight that nobody should have to carry alone all of the time... even though we may choose to. Twisted creatures, us humans. ^__^;;; And aside from that, you often make very valid points when you talk. I said often, not always. ^____~;;;;;;
(Remember: Mel loves you! =^____^=)