Discourse on Will
Oct. 16th, 2002 07:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackofallgeeksI was thinking this afternoon at work (which probably contributed to my headache this evening) and a few things occured to me. I'm afraid I didn't have anywhere to write my thoughts down, and we all know how poor my memory can be, even at such short intervals (or perhaps, especially in short intervals). We shall see how well it serves.
It has long been my opinion, as a starting point, that Love as such is a decision. The differentiate, I nessisarily refer to the feeling often associated with Love to be "in love" or "feeling in love." As is due to feelings, being in love is not a choice anymore than being angered is, perhaps no more than being hungry is. But then, i'm sure I could discuss that at great length, as well.
The case in point however is Love itself, which I claim is a decision. To Love someone in the truest sense, you need only desire for them to be happy, or more appropriately (and perhaps a bit cliche) you want what's best for then (the differenvce here may become apparent). I am sure many will afirm the fact that they have had fights with loved ones, most particularly with family, but most notably with significant-others. Through these fights, and afterwards (barring severe cases) I don't know that anyone would clain they no longer love the person. Even when one does not feel in love, one may (and often does) still Love. It is only through a decision that one retracts their Love, and as such, Loving is itself a decision. If you follow.
Along a similar vein... I spoke at length with my father about Confidence. As a military man, confidence is often the name of the game, and I still hardly believe my mother when she claims dad is one of the most shy men she's ever met. That being so, he confirms the fact himself. I had previously been of the opinion that Confidence was a game, a mask, a facade. After all, I'd long found that I can seem confident, standing in front of people, or meeting strangers, or similar, when I know on the inside I'm about as nervous as ever. However, my dad presented me with a new perspective - Confidence is a decision as well. You decide to be confident, and as such, you are. By this reasoning, confidence isn't so much not being nevous or scared, but acting in spite of that. Deciding to move, and moving. Back tracking, perhapse Love is a similar decision, in which you act in spite of circumstances. Wether those circumstances are anger, rejection, or fear is irrelevant - you act for another's good.
These two points being made... I was thinking this afternoon on a recent post by Leslie. Being that the post was generally on Happiness (and perhaps the subject was brought up in a comment) I began to wonder what the nature of Happiness is.
Philosophically speaking, I think I agree mostly with Aristotle and Aquinas on what constitutes Happiness in it's greatest form. However, I don't think that's the same sense as is being discussed here. As I precieve it, Aristotle speaks of the Greatest Happiness, Happiness As Such. It seems more appropriate in this case to speak of, perhaps, a lesser happiness, that of general happiness, happiness at the level that most people function on.
In this sense, I have come to percieve happiness, as well, as a decision - at least in so much as Love or Confidence might be considered. That is, to a great extent, one might decide to be happy, and as such is. It seems sensible, for many who struggle seem to be quite happy while those who "have it easy" are often times miserable. But perhaps this is only a materialistic look at happiness, in that it only proves that Happiness does not consist of 'having things.' It might also be argued that one can not always decide to be happy, as then it would follow that we would always be happy. However, is it so much we can't decide or more that we don't decide. After all, if we are to decide to be happy in spite of circumstances, at the same time, we could also bow to the pressure of those same circumstances and be unhappy (similarly as with Confidence and Love - because we CAN act in spite of the circumstances doesn't nessisarily mean we wILL act in spite of them).
I haven't quite come to a conclusion on this topic (do I ever?) - do any of you have thoughts to add?
It has long been my opinion, as a starting point, that Love as such is a decision. The differentiate, I nessisarily refer to the feeling often associated with Love to be "in love" or "feeling in love." As is due to feelings, being in love is not a choice anymore than being angered is, perhaps no more than being hungry is. But then, i'm sure I could discuss that at great length, as well.
The case in point however is Love itself, which I claim is a decision. To Love someone in the truest sense, you need only desire for them to be happy, or more appropriately (and perhaps a bit cliche) you want what's best for then (the differenvce here may become apparent). I am sure many will afirm the fact that they have had fights with loved ones, most particularly with family, but most notably with significant-others. Through these fights, and afterwards (barring severe cases) I don't know that anyone would clain they no longer love the person. Even when one does not feel in love, one may (and often does) still Love. It is only through a decision that one retracts their Love, and as such, Loving is itself a decision. If you follow.
Along a similar vein... I spoke at length with my father about Confidence. As a military man, confidence is often the name of the game, and I still hardly believe my mother when she claims dad is one of the most shy men she's ever met. That being so, he confirms the fact himself. I had previously been of the opinion that Confidence was a game, a mask, a facade. After all, I'd long found that I can seem confident, standing in front of people, or meeting strangers, or similar, when I know on the inside I'm about as nervous as ever. However, my dad presented me with a new perspective - Confidence is a decision as well. You decide to be confident, and as such, you are. By this reasoning, confidence isn't so much not being nevous or scared, but acting in spite of that. Deciding to move, and moving. Back tracking, perhapse Love is a similar decision, in which you act in spite of circumstances. Wether those circumstances are anger, rejection, or fear is irrelevant - you act for another's good.
These two points being made... I was thinking this afternoon on a recent post by Leslie. Being that the post was generally on Happiness (and perhaps the subject was brought up in a comment) I began to wonder what the nature of Happiness is.
Philosophically speaking, I think I agree mostly with Aristotle and Aquinas on what constitutes Happiness in it's greatest form. However, I don't think that's the same sense as is being discussed here. As I precieve it, Aristotle speaks of the Greatest Happiness, Happiness As Such. It seems more appropriate in this case to speak of, perhaps, a lesser happiness, that of general happiness, happiness at the level that most people function on.
In this sense, I have come to percieve happiness, as well, as a decision - at least in so much as Love or Confidence might be considered. That is, to a great extent, one might decide to be happy, and as such is. It seems sensible, for many who struggle seem to be quite happy while those who "have it easy" are often times miserable. But perhaps this is only a materialistic look at happiness, in that it only proves that Happiness does not consist of 'having things.' It might also be argued that one can not always decide to be happy, as then it would follow that we would always be happy. However, is it so much we can't decide or more that we don't decide. After all, if we are to decide to be happy in spite of circumstances, at the same time, we could also bow to the pressure of those same circumstances and be unhappy (similarly as with Confidence and Love - because we CAN act in spite of the circumstances doesn't nessisarily mean we wILL act in spite of them).
I haven't quite come to a conclusion on this topic (do I ever?) - do any of you have thoughts to add?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2002-10-16 07:00 pm (UTC)I believe that love is a desicion. That is why there are so many divorces because people "decide" that they do not want to love there spouse anymore...they do not have their priorities straight is what I think. You really have to work at any kind of relationship otherwise it will disinagrate. In many relationships nowadays both the woman and the man work...which causes them to have very little time for their relationship and they will eventually grow apart...unless they really work hard at it. The best thing to do is set aside a day at least twice a month for just the two of you...it would be even better to do it once a week. But I am just rambling on now. That is my philosophy on love.
BYE THE WAY I WANT TO WISH MY BROTHER JOSH A VERY HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
Can you believe he is already 16?
no subject
Date: 2002-10-16 07:44 pm (UTC)Exactly. You hear people saying stuff like "I just don't love her anymore" or things like that. ::Shakes head:: I just don't get it. People let things ride too much on "in love" and don't make any effort towards actual Love. It's like if a friend was only around when things were going good, and then just left you when the hard times hit - it's the same thing. "A Friend is someone who stands by your side when he would rather be anywhere else." It's a good quote, and I think it goes doubly so for Love.
"Can you believe he is already 16?"
I know. They grow up so fast, don't they? ^____^
no subject
Date: 2002-10-18 12:04 pm (UTC)I so agree with that.