(no subject)

[jackofallgeeks]

I'm stunned. And this is going to be all sorts of shallow and I'm-a-horrible-person, but...

So, long story short, I've gotten in touch with a number of old friends through Facebook. It's a big part of why I like the place. But in the last couple weeks I've gotten in touch with a couple girls I used to be good friends with, and... To be blunt, holy shit, they put on A LOT of weight!

Now, I'm not the picture of health, or even dietary concern, myself. I weigh about 190lbs, but I'm also nearly 6ft tall. I'd like to get down to, say, 175 or so, but I don't think anyone would call me fat. There girls are fat, to the point where they look bloated or swollen. Their faces are familiar, but all wrong. And they were both small girls when I knew them. That was YEARS ago, like 5 and 6 years ago, but I just can't understand how someone can let themselves go like that.

I feel a little bad, like the way I feel when I inwardly snear at the people in Walmart, but...

Comments

[readiness.livejournal.com]

ouch man.

people gain weight for a lot of reasons. Hell I gained a lot of weight from medication. There are medications, illness, compulsive overeating (which is considered an eating disorder).

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

(1) I saw old pictures of you. Unless you were significantly heavier at some point before (or after, I guess) I met you, then it's not even on the same scale. You would have to have gone from those old pictures to at least twice what I know you as, maybe more.

(2) Yes, there are many reasons people gain weight. Yes, not all of them can be controlled by the person in question. Yes, it can be very hard to lose weight.

(3) I am a horrible person for this. It's a deep-seated reaction which, I think, is based in fear. I still can't excuse myself.

[metis2be.livejournal.com]

So if you're so judgmental, what did you think of me when I instantly blew up so much between visits?

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

You didn't blow up between visits, Jenny. You gained weight the way I gained weight (I went from 145 or 150 to 185 or 190 in the span of a few months). As I told Erin above, to be on scale with these girls, you'd have to be two or three times heavier than you are now.

This is still a small glimpse into the horrid, elitist, superficial, judgmental side of me that I really, really don't like. I have no excuses, though maybe I would have been better biting my tongue.

[higheststar.livejournal.com]

Ok, I'm on your side for this one! And even worse, I feel sooo much better about myself when i see the girls who have put on a bunch of weight!!

And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way!

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

At least I don't feel good about it. :p

Of course, I probably should have still kept my mouth shut. This is, I tend to forget, one of those horribly taboo subjects that you can't talk about without upsetting people and being completely misread. See Jenny and Erin above, neither of whom I think are fat, but both of whom took exception to this admission.

Fact: I'm a superficial, elitist jerk.

[laurelei28.livejournal.com]

my friend who i thought i know. this post makes me incredibly angry and sad. I wonder, however, if it is better or worse that you never knew ME in high school. I was small then. I've gained upwards of 60 lbs since. however did I let myself go? WTF? Are you seriously that unaware and close minded? *blinks* I summon thy demons - show yourself!

[amazonmink.livejournal.com]

I know the feeling. And no, I don't think it's shallow. Sometimes I still have it stuck in my head we're all 16, and now my friends are having babies.

[bsgnome.livejournal.com]

Well, to be perfectly honest, I, in part, agree with you.

Then again, I know one of the girls your talking about (I know this because of things which have been said in person), and, at least in her case, she didn't suddenly "explode." It was a little bit of gain, here and there, over the course of six years.

Frankly, yeah, I'm disappointed in her for "letting herself go," but, really, did she? When it's gradual like that, it's hard for you and those around you to gauge how much weight is actually being gained. It's only when someone like you, who, so to speak, "used to know her," sees a drastic change from what you remember to how she is now that it seems to have been an explosion of weight.

All that said, though, you aren't a "horrible" person. I think it's ridiculous that people try to make fat out to be anything other than unappealing. To be honest, though, someone could be too thin, it's called being emaciated; that's just as unappealing.

I'm just going to shut up now, before I alienate the entire world ...

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

For the record, "exploded" was not my word. And yes, I recognize that the weight gain has been over six years, but that doesn't explain it. I've known and used-to-known plenty of people for the last six years and while we've almost all (*pointed look at Leslie*) put on weight, we're not obese, to put it bluntly. It's the obesity that shocks and amazes me.

Point of fact, I don't like especially-skinny people terribly much, either; any one who's care to wrest my particular tastes out of me knows I don't subscribe to the standard notion of what's attractive. The response I've gotten (and, honestly, expected) is testament to how fully saturated we are with that notion of beauty -- when you say Fat is unattractive, people immediately assume they know what you say IS attractive.

[bsgnome.livejournal.com]

For the record, "exploded" was my word. It seemed to match up with the "holy-sh*" reaction.

Mind, I too remember how small she had been before, and it strikes me at times too. I'm jus' saying, I don't think "Holy sh*," I think, "That's a shame; frankly, I'm disappointed and somewhat repulsed." Maybe the reactions are equivalent, but mine is a tad more loquacious, you must admit.

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

Touch.