Yay, BulletPoints!

[jackofallgeeks]

I keep meaning to post and I never do. So, a quick run down, with bullet points!

This past weekend I felt inexpressibly happy. I think it has to do with the sun's return.

Tonight I'm feeling a touch sad. I'm not sure why. Part of my knows it would have been Amanda's birthday today, and I think that plays a part.

I still have no groceries.

I joined a dating site again probably about a month and change ago.

Dating sites seem to be accelerated, concentrated rejection.

I don't deal well with rejection.

This is, of course, focusing on the negative: I have a dinner-date tomorrow.

That's my first date since Laurel. Two years ago. And she initiated that one.

The last time I initiated a date was, like, four or five years ago.

Still, that's one connection out of 33 attempts. Poor hit ratio.

Yeah, I've tried contacting 33 girls in a month. What of it?

Like I said, accelerated. Leave me alone.

Talked with my informal mentor today about my potential career path. This made me very happy with my lot in the world.

My brother and his girlfriend 9who's awesome) are visiting this coming weekend.

I should sleep.

Comments

[laurelei28.livejournal.com]

its pretty good odds actually. my dad sent out 100 resumes and got 1 job interview.

Just saying

[quix.livejournal.com]

Reminder: I met Jess on OKCupid. That said, the odds on ANY dating site for guys is pretty miserable. Girls get TONS of people contacting them, so it's really like an interview process where the guy is the interviewee and the girl is interviewer. That doesn't mean you shouldn't do them, it simply means you need to be persistant. Oh, and if you initiate contact do more then simply say "Hi, you seem interesting, do you think I'm interesting?" Try to catch their attention (again, akin to job interview I suppose *shrugs*).

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

-smirk- Oh yes, I remember how you met Jessi. "You look like my ex-girlfriend" is usually considered a bad opening line, but I guess you got it to work, eh? -smirk-

But yeah, the fact that girls are bombarded on those sites is a recent revelation to me, but it makes complete sense. And while it's not an ideal situation, it's at least one that I can get my head around: I can understand job interviews. (It's generally how I've understood dating for years.) Though as far as persistence goes, do you mean continuing with the same girl (though not exclusively) until you get a response, or just not letting the rejection get you down? 'Cause i'm getting better at the latter, not so much the former.

[quix.livejournal.com]

*shakes head* Yeah, I still have no idea how she managed to look past that. :)

As for the persistence, I meant in the sense that in most cases you'll get little to no response from women on the dating sites, and that doesn't mean anything about you, just that they're not truly invested in the situation. So what I did, was to be persistant in keeping on trying to meet other women. I was never one for being persistant with one particular woman. If I didn't get the response I was looking for, I usually took that to mean there was no chance and moved on. I've learned since that that's not necessarily the case. Rejection always sucks. The only way I found to combat it was to tell myself that I wasn't looking for a long-term relationship so it "didn't really matter". If I treated the relationship lightly, it didn't sting so much when it fell through. And then if it did become serious, it was just a happy surprise. I don't know if that mental trickery will work for you, but there it is.

[otakulk.livejournal.com]

I agree about dating sites being accelerated rejection. I have a lot of prejudices against them actually, but at the same time often consider joining them. They just feel like empty promises to me, and I fear joining them and then feeling like I was conned. Granted I wouldn't loose anything (probably wouldn't join a paid one), but I would still feel conned. Then ontop of it if I didn't go on any fun dates I would just feel like a failure. Not that YOU should feel that way.

On the dating side, I've realized a new hobby I am going to try to pick up: practice dating. Its based on my experiences in public speaking. It starts with a weird idea: date someone you aren't interested in. My theory is by going on a date thats note really a date, and with someone you aren't really interested in, then eventually it will become routine. Then when you are on a date you care about, just put on the auto pilot!

Now, granted you have to be careful about these things. Primarily you need to make sure that the girl you're practice dating knows that you aren't interested, just want to go out for fun some night. This usually results in a new friend too, so its bonus feel good points. I would avoid specifically saying practice dating since it brings up memories of terrible sit-coms where the nervous guy asks his friend to help him date some crush, then the friend falls for him. Thats not a practice date, thats a practice lover. Secondly you need to have fun.

Anyway, I'll let you know how it works for me. I don't feel like dating anyone right now, but I like having nice evenings out, so lets hope this works :P.