You're a Wonderful Guy, for Someone Else

[jackofallgeeks]

Flushing more negative emotion; don't mind me. I'm supposed to be leaving for a party, and if I can get some of this vinegar out first, maybe I'll make for better company.

In in a spot right now, again, where I don't think the girl I'm looking for exists. I don't think I ask for terribly much: smart, pretty, Catholic, wants a family. And wants me. It's that last bit that I can't help but feel is the sticking point. I'm sure there are plenty of smart, pretty, Catholic girls out there, and I'm sure plenty of them want a family. But...

I'm notoriously proud and confident. It's one of my greatest strengths, according to many friends. Sometimes I think it's one of my greatest failings, as I can be rather elitist and judgmental, and I generally don't recognize it as a problem. But even for that, I can't help but feel that "wanting me" is the most trying request I ever make of anyone. Without really meaning to, all of my relationships (romantic or otherwise) boil down to "I will offer you something so that you will love me." I have to have something to weigh against the terrible burden of liking me.

I know I'm a likable guy. I'm smart, and caring, I can be funny, and (with only a few recent exceptions) I've never had anyone say they don't want to know me.

Anyways, the point is that I just want people to like me, and I sometimes feel like that's asking a lot.

Comments

[dikaiosunh.livejournal.com]

There's almost no way to say this that doesn't risk cliche, but... maybe just don't try so hard? I say this from personal experience, and there's little that works worse than coming off as desperately wanting someone to like you. If there are plenty of great Catholic girls out there - why not just hang out with them, without prejudging whether or not they're going to fall in love with you?

I mean, there's a fine line - you don't want to end up everyone's friend, either.

And, heck, what do I know - I met my wife the one time that I was meeting people with the express purpose of dating them. But there was some clarity there, at least, in that everyone knew where they stood. But even then, things clicked mostly when I stopped pushing it and figured I'd just go out on dates for whatever they had to offer and not worry too much about the long-range.

[ofthelily.livejournal.com]

I think there is something evil in the air. I lot of people I know have been having a rough time lately, especially emotionally (myself included)

But I think you have a lot to offer a girl and eventually you will find her. Its going to suck until then and nothing anyone says will help the blah feelings go away completely. But I think you are a very likable person and I have always thought that from the first time I met you. I am very happy that I have you as a friend!!! Just hang in there! *hugs*