Dysphoria

[jackofallgeeks]

I've been feeling particularly dysphoric lately. I have plenty of things to
be really happy about -- I'm home, I'm buying a house -- but I've been under
a lot of stress and i just really, really want things to be more settled
than they are. I *really* don't like plans changing on me at the last
minute, and it feels like that's been happening continuously for a couple
weeks now. I just feel tired, raw, and emotionally drained.

I was talking to my mom and she was saying how it seems I've always been the
"always full or always empty; no half-anything" sort of person. It's funny
because it's true. Right now it feels like nothing is going to be settled
before mid-January. intellectually I know that's not true, but it
feels like it.

I'm feeling discouraged on the social -- and more precisely, the romantic --
front as well. I feel more awkward that I have since high school. Even if
I met someone, I'm afraid I wouldn't have the first clue with how to conduct
myself, which is really frustrating for a guy who (more or less) has always
been a social creature.

Comments

[otakulk.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean, I think its seasonal depression? Stupid holiday season.... anyway we can't feel too anti-social, it'll ruin the few social plans we have! Speaking of which, I am really looking forward to your party, should I bring anything? On the dating front, I totally know what you mean about not being quite sure of yourself. I've been feeling that as well recently, and decided I need to take up an old hobby: dating people I am not interested in! At some point, someone has to become interesting, right?