It's a gray day.
Dec. 13th, 2007 01:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackofallgeeksSo, I'm kind of depressed right now. I've been stressed a lot, I guess, and
that's recently expressed itself as my being particularly emotionally
sensitive. yesterday was, if not the start, the 'high point' of this
emotional sensitivity, and in general the whole day sucked.
It started out with me getting criticism
-- which I asked for -- from my supervisor on a report I wrote up recently
-- which I already wasn't satisfied with. He gave me the criticism, noted
that the report was rough around the edges, imprecise in some of it's
definitions, and I sounded like I didn't understand the material in places
where I didn't understand the material. None of it was accusatory, but I
took it harder than I should have; I just felt bad. It occurred to
me later in the day that while I'm enthusiastic and want to produce good
work, I don't really know what "good work" is and I'm not sure I'm learning
what it is through this 'training' assignment they have me on -- or, if I
am, it hasn't been presented in a way I recognize. It occurred to me this
morning that while I believe I'm well-educated and highly-trained, I find
myself doubting that I have the skills to produce what is 9at least
apparently) expected of me. Though I wonder how much of that is what I
expect to be expected of me. I don't want to do poorly, but I
have only been here for a couple months.
I also
got news yesterday that the settlement on the house I'm buying, which was
supposed to be tomorrow, has been pushed back until next week. At first it
was pushed back to next Friday, the weekend before Christmas, but things got
figured out and now it's set for Tuesday, which isn't so bad. The things
that got figured out were that half the documents they thought they needed
weren't needed, and the other half (which they'd never asked for) could be
faxed over almost immediately. Unfortunately, none of this (the need for
documents) was brought to my attention until it was already too late to make
the Friday closing. That got me really angry. Everything they needed was
right on hand, and so if they'd asked sooner we might've made our deadline.
But they didn't.
I was going to
have Verizon install my FiOS internet and cable service on Saturday but, as
the house won't be mine yet, I can't. So I had to call them up and
reschedule it. Between being put on hold and talking with different
operators, I spent an hour on the phone to find out that the soonest they
can come out is Jan 7th 2008, about three weeks after I move in -- instead
of the next-day service I was going to have if we closed tomorrow. In the
long run, this isn't a big deal. Most of those three weeks will be spent
away from my place anyways, celebrating Christmas and New Years' with my
family. But it's still irritating.
that's recently expressed itself as my being particularly emotionally
sensitive. yesterday was, if not the start, the 'high point' of this
emotional sensitivity, and in general the whole day sucked.
It started out with me getting criticism
-- which I asked for -- from my supervisor on a report I wrote up recently
-- which I already wasn't satisfied with. He gave me the criticism, noted
that the report was rough around the edges, imprecise in some of it's
definitions, and I sounded like I didn't understand the material in places
where I didn't understand the material. None of it was accusatory, but I
took it harder than I should have; I just felt bad. It occurred to
me later in the day that while I'm enthusiastic and want to produce good
work, I don't really know what "good work" is and I'm not sure I'm learning
what it is through this 'training' assignment they have me on -- or, if I
am, it hasn't been presented in a way I recognize. It occurred to me this
morning that while I believe I'm well-educated and highly-trained, I find
myself doubting that I have the skills to produce what is 9at least
apparently) expected of me. Though I wonder how much of that is what I
expect to be expected of me. I don't want to do poorly, but I
have only been here for a couple months.
I also
got news yesterday that the settlement on the house I'm buying, which was
supposed to be tomorrow, has been pushed back until next week. At first it
was pushed back to next Friday, the weekend before Christmas, but things got
figured out and now it's set for Tuesday, which isn't so bad. The things
that got figured out were that half the documents they thought they needed
weren't needed, and the other half (which they'd never asked for) could be
faxed over almost immediately. Unfortunately, none of this (the need for
documents) was brought to my attention until it was already too late to make
the Friday closing. That got me really angry. Everything they needed was
right on hand, and so if they'd asked sooner we might've made our deadline.
But they didn't.
I was going to
have Verizon install my FiOS internet and cable service on Saturday but, as
the house won't be mine yet, I can't. So I had to call them up and
reschedule it. Between being put on hold and talking with different
operators, I spent an hour on the phone to find out that the soonest they
can come out is Jan 7th 2008, about three weeks after I move in -- instead
of the next-day service I was going to have if we closed tomorrow. In the
long run, this isn't a big deal. Most of those three weeks will be spent
away from my place anyways, celebrating Christmas and New Years' with my
family. But it's still irritating.
