Archibald's

[jackofallgeeks]

So, I just got back from Trevor's Bachelor party. We went to dinner and then to a bar, and finished up early in the morning at a strip club. Full nudity. My first time.

I won't say I didn't like it, in a sense. I did. The girls were pretty and I can't say I don't like looking at pretty girls. We also had a few decent conversations with a couple of the girls -- we tried to emphasize that we were just young guys and not like some of the dirty old men who usually came.

At the same time, a big part of me wished the girls there weren't doing what they were doing. Weren't dancing naked in front of men to make money. It was obvious they got good tips, but some of the looks they got (from said dirty old men) made me feel uncomfortable. I wish they could be happy and successful without selling themselves like that.

I imagine most girls think very little of strippers. It's one step above whoring oneself, right? (And from stories I've heard, that one step can be very small indeed in some of the sleazier bars.) I think, though, that the girls -- or more specifically, the bars they work for -- are taking advantage of us guys, in a way, too. Men, I think, tend to very quickly develop a kind of attachment to a girl who draws his attention, and this whole market is built upon attracting a man's attention and then making him pay a few dollars her and a few dollars there to sate himself. They certainly aren't as attached to us as we are to them.

I don't like it, strictly speaking. I think I'm a worse person for participating. But it was fun, and we did treat the girls as real people (despite the flavor of entertainment they were providing). It was an experience.

Comments

[otakulk.livejournal.com]

Quite a wise observation young grasshopper :P.

[surichan.livejournal.com]

I've always wanted to visit a strip club - preferably a really nice one, a "gentlemen's" club, as it were. The linguist in me likes the ring of "gentlemen's club" far more than "strip joint" or any other form, but some would probably say that that it's the same kind of thing masquerading under a pretty euphemism. I've seen some shitty looking places (from the outside, anyway) calling themselves "gentlemen's clubs". I'm not sure any place would fit the bill of the kind of polite, upscale, yet erotically-charged place I have in mind.

Anyway, I digress. I've always wanted to go, in the main to see how the women would respond to another woman soliciting their favors. I don't think much would necessarily change, but a little bit just might; something in how they might relate to me as another woman, even one with dollar bills just like all the guys.

Relatedly, I wonder just how many men go into strip clubs and attempt to ingratiate themselves with the women by trying to come off as not like a dirty pervert who's there to drool over T&A. I don't doubt many of them mean it - certainly you do. Hell, I'd probably end up making a statement like that if I ever got my shot at going. It seems like a valid disclaimer; something polite people would do as a matter of course, a matter of trying to show respect to these girls who been made into dolls for delectation. I just wonder, if you were to ask the girls, how many times they'd tell you they hear "I'm not like those other guys" or something similar.

There's a very good book called Self-Made Man that I read last year, about a woman who convincingly makes herself up to look like a man and then sets about trying to infiltrate the "man's world" - and strip clubs are one of the places she goes. She's got a very interesting insight into strip clubs, strippers, and customers, and I think you might enjoy the read, given your own insights.

Did I ever tell you that for a stretch of about two years not too long ago, I very much wanted to be a stripper, if only for a month or two?

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

You never did tell me that, and I have to ask -- why? I mean, it's pretty clear what guys get out of the place (or not so clear, if you take my perspective; I should write that post). But what would motivate a girl to dance around naked in front of people...?

Two things came to mind right away: the exhibitionistic thrill of it, or the fact that these girls know they're pretty so why not market that? The first may hold, but even just after thinking it I want to throw the second one out: I'm not convinced that any girl ever thinks of herself as pretty. I wish I didn't feel that way, because I imagine I'm pretty solidly wrong on that point.

I'd had something else to say. I can't remember what.

At one point toward the end of the night we were talking to this one girl, a pretty blond. And she was sitting back on her haunches while we stood around the stage and we were talking about how Trevor was getting married and we were all college buddies showing him a good time, and lamenting some of the creeps she had to deal with. She told us some horror stories which I won't repeat here -- nothing that put her in a dangerous spot or anything (I'm sure the club takes care of their girls) but definitely high on the creepy/weirdo scale. She said we were a nice respite. She also liked my laugh. :p It was all pretty cool and normal -- except that she was naked next to a dancing pole and in front of a full-wall mirror.