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May. 15th, 2007 09:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackofallgeeksA friend of mine just made a post about Oprah and "the secret" -- I've no idea what that secret is, but she seemed to indicate that it had to do with "asking the Universe for what you want," and made murmurs about the old ways and druids and pagan spirituality. At some point she said something to the effect of "asking the Universe for what you want isn't bad, and I generally believe the universe intends for your needs to be met." Then she got a bit more Christian about it and likened it to praying, and how some people will suggest she "ask God" when she has a need or a problem.
I had a reply, but it didn't have much to do with the actual meat of her post -- disappointment with not getting the job she wanted -- and as she was clearly trying to be positive about the whole thing I didn't want to drop my negativity into there.
The thing is, I don't believe the Universe intends for your needs to be met. I don't think the Universe really cares much at all. Theologically-speaking I have to believe that God has our best interests in mind*, but that doesn't mean our best interests are what we think they are or what we think we want. And even at that, even if it was exactly what we want it to be, I'm not sure it's in our best interests to be handed things without effort. So it all ends up the same: I, personally, don't believe anything works to your benefit except yourself. If you don't do it, it won't get done. Other people, even with the best of intentions, can't be depended on because they have their own interests, their own needs and desires. All I can rely on is my own will.
I think this is a great personal failing. I lack practical faith. I lack any real working sense of trust -- not that I don't trust people, but that try as I might I don't depend on them. I don't expect them to disappoint me, and I certainly don't expect them to act against me, but... I don't depend on them. If I don't do it, it doesn't get done. And my faith in God is equally as weak, equally as deistic. The Great Clockmaker, who created reality and set it to run by it's own intrinsic laws. Add to that the fact that I don't believe that this world is the sum of existence, and that my faith gives no assurances that we are to be happy in this life... It can get to be a pretty bleak outlook.
I don't know how I came to operate this way. The World was often a hostile place when I was a kid -- I was picked on a lot, for example -- but I had my family, my friends, people I *could* depend on for support. And I consciously don't want this outlook. It's just an attitude I've observed, an internal mechanism.
*By 'have to' here some may imagine I mean "I am bound by the religious organization and society which I have associated myself with," imagining perhaps that I believe this not by my own will but by some ind of blind adherence to doctrine. This is not the case, and I hope none of you would be in the group to assume it was; I hope you know me better. Rather, here I mean 'have to' in that the alternative is simply unbearable -- if God isn't benevolent, if He is uncaring or, worse, the evil Genius of Descartes' imagination, what hope am I left with? In a wholly-uncaring or malicious world, what chance is there for anything good? So I have to simply because I can not bear to be so utterly alone.
I had a reply, but it didn't have much to do with the actual meat of her post -- disappointment with not getting the job she wanted -- and as she was clearly trying to be positive about the whole thing I didn't want to drop my negativity into there.
The thing is, I don't believe the Universe intends for your needs to be met. I don't think the Universe really cares much at all. Theologically-speaking I have to believe that God has our best interests in mind*, but that doesn't mean our best interests are what we think they are or what we think we want. And even at that, even if it was exactly what we want it to be, I'm not sure it's in our best interests to be handed things without effort. So it all ends up the same: I, personally, don't believe anything works to your benefit except yourself. If you don't do it, it won't get done. Other people, even with the best of intentions, can't be depended on because they have their own interests, their own needs and desires. All I can rely on is my own will.
I think this is a great personal failing. I lack practical faith. I lack any real working sense of trust -- not that I don't trust people, but that try as I might I don't depend on them. I don't expect them to disappoint me, and I certainly don't expect them to act against me, but... I don't depend on them. If I don't do it, it doesn't get done. And my faith in God is equally as weak, equally as deistic. The Great Clockmaker, who created reality and set it to run by it's own intrinsic laws. Add to that the fact that I don't believe that this world is the sum of existence, and that my faith gives no assurances that we are to be happy in this life... It can get to be a pretty bleak outlook.
I don't know how I came to operate this way. The World was often a hostile place when I was a kid -- I was picked on a lot, for example -- but I had my family, my friends, people I *could* depend on for support. And I consciously don't want this outlook. It's just an attitude I've observed, an internal mechanism.
*By 'have to' here some may imagine I mean "I am bound by the religious organization and society which I have associated myself with," imagining perhaps that I believe this not by my own will but by some ind of blind adherence to doctrine. This is not the case, and I hope none of you would be in the group to assume it was; I hope you know me better. Rather, here I mean 'have to' in that the alternative is simply unbearable -- if God isn't benevolent, if He is uncaring or, worse, the evil Genius of Descartes' imagination, what hope am I left with? In a wholly-uncaring or malicious world, what chance is there for anything good? So I have to simply because I can not bear to be so utterly alone.
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no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 07:10 am (UTC)One of the great quests of transitioning from the worldly to the spiritual man is submission to the will and superior knowledge of God... to be willing, in our extremity (as Christ did in his) or (even harder) in comfort to be able to call upon him for help and honestly tell the Lord "nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt."
Y'know, believing in God's pretty easy. Trusting in him to actually take action in our behalf, or even just believing what he says... that's much harder.
*paraphrase alert!
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 09:36 pm (UTC)Second off, I would not have taken your comments as negative, but would have been delighted to read them, as always. Even if I had been disappointed and trying to be positive, any comments from you would not have "brought me down" so please always speak up.
While we disagree on the basic premise that the Universe really does want our needs to be met, and for us to be happy, overall, the rest we agree on. I could not pray for the job, nor could I ask the Universe for it. Please note: I am neither Pagen nor Christian, not any one religion, but have read about many religions and have taken bits from all of them. While I'm not religious, I am spiritual.
The rest we seem to agree on. I would never expect to pray for the job or any need or want and have it handed to me. In this case, I'm having a difficulty deciding which route to take. I do know the destination... to go back to school to become a teacher ... but as far as the journey, there are options. Then as to what kind of teacher, again options. So, why not just be open to the nudgings from God or the Universe. It will either be plan A or plan B, either will get me to the right spot, there are pros and cons to both choices, why not let the universe decide which avenue to take? Let God show me what He wants from me in this case? In this case, I don't have to do anything at all. One or the other WILL happen. It is possible that my supervisors have already decided, but can't let me know just yet. So, I guess my point is, why worry about it? Just let it be?
no subject
Date: 2007-05-17 01:19 am (UTC)(1) It's hardly any concern of mine what faith you ascribe to or not; in the end it's what you actually believe that's of any worth at all. I've found I sometimes have more in common with my atheist friends, spiritually-speaking, than with nominal so-called-Catholics who I ostensibly share doctrine with. In short: whichever, it's all good. :p
(2) It's of note that I really do believe that, in the end, things work out for the best. I can't say anything about the meantime, but I believe that nothing happens without a reason. I need to remind myself of that, I think, because I've been much to bleak lately. I was going to make a post about that (even before having the fantastic day I had); maybe I still will.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-17 03:04 am (UTC)(B) If "hodge-podge" is a faith, that's mine. Lots of reading from lots of faiths. Mostly I've discovered that if you be good, take care of your family and friends, and pay your taxes, you'll be OK.
(c) Yes. Either way, I will have a job in the fall. I've been told by other teacher's that if I want full time, I should start applying around, because there are positions opening up. However, I'm going to just stay the course, so to speak, see what happens.
I'll be eligible to apply for free tuition around Christmas time, no matter if I'm a sub, or a full time assistant.