Happy Lent

[jackofallgeeks]

The subject is a tribute to an odd thing a well-meaning friend of mine said earlier. Lent isn't really known to be a 'joyous' time. Not as far as I've ever understood it, at least.

My almost-utter lack of knowledge of Jewish faith and customs notwithstanding, I think it's probably pretty close to Yom Kippur, at least as far as the whole 'atonement' thing goes. It's a time when we Christians remember the ministry of Jesus, with a particular emphasis on his impending passion and death. And, with that in mind, we reflect (or rather, we ought to reflect) on ourselves and our short-comings. And, hopefully, make efforts to improve ourselves.

A lot of people do little things, like give up candy or soda, or not-so-little things, like abstain from meet for the full duration of Lent. For the best of them, it's an actual exercise in self-denial. For others, it's little more than a token gesture. As much as I think I could really use some training in self-denial, though, those things never really 'did' it for me. Perhaps because I never kept up with them, but that's mostly speculation; I can't remember if I ever did or didn't keep up my Lenten sacrifice.

There are significant points about myself and my behaviors that I don't like. Bits that keep me from being the man I would like to be, the man I ought to be. For me, Lent had traditionally been a time to take a look at the bits of myself I don't like thinking about and trying to improve myself where I know I'm failing. And, traditionally, I fail more often than not. I'm not very good at changing myself or, at least, my inner demons have thus far been equal to whatever effort I could muster.

This year, I've determined to wrestle with a personal demon who has plagued me pretty consistently for most of the last 10 to 15 years. That's a long time for a guy just shy of 24 years. And Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent, has only just begun and I feel I'm out-matched.

The reason I bring all this up is to ask for help. I know a lot of you aren't Christian, and I imagine a few out there think Catholicism is a quaint self-deception at best. That's fine, whatever. But whether you believe in Jesus, God, karma -- any spiritual reality at all -- I'd just ask that you keep me in your prayers, or thoughts, or whatever. I don't know that I'm strong enough to pull off what I'm attempting, and any help at all would be appreciated.

And with that I'm going to bed. For reasons I believe are wholly unrelated to any of this, I haven't been sleeping well lately. Not since coming back here to California, more or less.

Comments

[surichan.livejournal.com]

As someone who believes strongly in self-betterment, I wish you all of the best in your Lenten attempt. I don't know, of course, exactly what you're up against here, but knowing you, I'm sure you are strong enough to face this personal demon down.

And remember, if ever you feel yourself slipping and need someone to help you get back on track, you can always call me and go, "I FAIL!", and I'll go "DON'T MAKE ME GET ON A PLANE AND COME OUT THERE WITH BAGELS AND PERHAPS GUINNESS AND PUT YOU BACK ON THE RIGHTEOUS ROAD."

And then you'll be fine again. :3

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

You're silly sometimes.

[surichan.livejournal.com]

What's all this "sometimes" business, then?

[dikaiosunh.livejournal.com]

At least in the circles I run in, the appropriate thing to say about Yom Kippur is to with the person an easy fast. Just FYI.

Well, I'm one of those non-spiritual folks, but as a humanist, I believe in humans. You're a pretty together guy most of the time, so I've got faith you can master whatever bit of discipline you're trying to here.

[nif.livejournal.com]

I was brought up Catholic so I know all about Lent. But Lent for us, at least , was never taken "seriously"- my mom and I sacrificed eating chocolate once. This post really took me aback for a moment because I had never considered wrestling with a personal demon as something Lent-y. I don't pray, but I will be thinking about you and keeping my cell phone charged in case you need to call. Other people have said this, but I'm also here to give you whatever support you need (be it ass-kicking or cheerleading). Good luck. My ears are available whenever you need.

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

Interestingly, my family never took it 'seriously' either, at least not when I was a kid. Not as I remember, anyways. Despite what many may think from knowing me, my family was always a pretty standard (if slightly-larger) American Catholic family. That didn't start the change until I was in highschool, as far as I recall.

[singinteenangst.livejournal.com]

i was always terrible at keeping my Lenten promises, so you certainly have my prayers/hopes/support, and especially my love. when's your next visit to cincy? :D

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Kate.

when's your next visit to cincy?
ASAP. Seriously, I miss you girls something awful. Unfortunately, it looks like I'm pretty much spoken for, between work, school, and a family cruise circa July 4th (whoo hoo!), until August at the earliest. But we'll see.