This would be my left-brain talking.

[jackofallgeeks]

I like to think, generally speaking, that I'm a fairly practical person on a day-to-day basis. I'm laid back, yeah, and I'm alright with doing little social things spontaneously, like grabbing dinner or a movie after work just 'cause nothing else was going on. But generally I'm a practical guy who understands that certain things are required for the world, and life in general, to keep moving along. We all make decisions about how we live our lives, and it's best to acknowledge the fact and work with it rather than blunder through subconsciously.

So when I think about getting married -- finding a girl and raising kids and all that -- I tend to think in rather practical terms. I'm looking for a girl who wants kids, for one, and preferably is good with children generally. Someone who agrees with me on fundamental issues so we don't argue about how to raise our kids. Someone I'm attracted to, because we all know where babies come from. And little things like being able to manage my diet (a task I find difficult) and encourage me to generally be a better person are also pluses, if not mandatory.

Nice, neat, orderly. Practical.

And then I find myself (mentally) screaming: I don't want to marry for practical reasons! I don't want to get married because it 'makes sense,' because all of the boxes are checked. I want to get married because I'm passionately in love with this girl.

Which, for me, is a rather frustrating thought. Because unlike check-boxes, I've found it's very difficult to manage how one feels.

Comments

[tzohekiti.livejournal.com]

... Those last 2 paragraphs... yeah.

[elwenlassriel.livejournal.com]

Well, I think that all of your “boxes” are really quite essential and not too narrowly specific. Hence there are a great many girls who would be able to be a ‘practical’ match for you (whether you know many of them now or not, they are out there). However don’t act like you can’t have all of the boxes check and be passionately in love with the person at the same time. You can and will have that, perhaps not now, but you will someday. And when you find her, you will ask her to marry you.

Remember you only have to fine one perfect person for you. Because of that, she may be hard to find, and maybe the time to find her hasn’t come yet. But do take heart. Remember that she is likely looking for you too and is probably facing the same things you are facing. Pray for her, that she will face all the trials and keep on going. Don’t disappoint her, don’t give up on her. She is waiting for you.