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Jan. 28th, 2005 08:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackofallgeeksWell, I'm sitting here at home, having finally liberated my laptop from my brother, and I have *nothing* to do. Well, that's not true, but I've decided LiveJournal takes precedence over anything else I could be doing. Which, it seems, includes eating dinner.
Just a few quick notes about last night, mostly for myself. I'd been afraid, on some level, of going back there and either (1) seeing Suzannah, or (b) not seeing Suzannah. I wasn't sure which might be worse, but I didn't expect her to want to see me. As is usual, my torment was solely my own creation. When I got there, they were finishing up a dance (THe Duke of Kent, which has meaning for me, but not for any of you), and I leaned against the doorframe as everyone left the floor. Suzannah saw me, purposefully made her way over to be, and smiling said she was glad that I'd come and asked if I'd like to dance. All of this made me feel really happy, and at the same time really confused, for what I think might be obvious enough reasons. But I got to see her, and I got to dance with her, and that made me happy.
It was good to see the other ladies there, too, though the only 'significant' one (for our discussion here) would be Meghan. I met her last semester, and we've kept in touch through regular emails. She's rather nice, pretty, and she seems to be interested in me. Being the fool I am, I have hesitations, most of which I'm not willing to lay bear in a public post. But at least to some exent I'm afraid that if we did try any sort of relationship: I'd mess things up and the poor girl would get hurt; or, I'd mess things up and *I* would get hurt. And a subset of either of those: I may be going to California for two+ years, I don't know if I might (or even want to, in ways) have a chance yet with Suzannah, and further I don't know if I might meet someone else. That is, generally, I'm afraid that I couldn't really commit to much of anything at all, and going in like that... I'm not sure I'd feel right about it. I'm thinking, though, more and more, that it might not hurt to take a shot at it; see if we get along, if there might be anything there, y'know? For one reason or another, I have "stop looking for the girls you're interested in and start looking for the girls who are interested in you" running through my head. I can't remember who told me that; probably most of you.
I should have asked Curtis for the "World of Warcraft" CDs before I came down here... I started playing it when Chris offered to try it out on his account (since he has things he'd best be doing instead), and I really like it. It has significant differences from City of Heroes, but I think they both have their appeal. One of my biggest compaints against CoH, and joys in WoW, was the quality and amount of actual Role-playing. I'm laughing at myself now, 'cause today was sadly lacking in WoW RP, and my brother introduced me to an awesome group of CoH RPers on Guardian. I may look to running with them more often. I may also frequent the CoH boards and see if I can't find RPers for Bethan and Jessie.
Mmmmm, and I think I've run out of things to say. So, I'll either try doing some writing (which I haven't done in *forever*), or do some of my psyche homework.
Just a few quick notes about last night, mostly for myself. I'd been afraid, on some level, of going back there and either (1) seeing Suzannah, or (b) not seeing Suzannah. I wasn't sure which might be worse, but I didn't expect her to want to see me. As is usual, my torment was solely my own creation. When I got there, they were finishing up a dance (THe Duke of Kent, which has meaning for me, but not for any of you), and I leaned against the doorframe as everyone left the floor. Suzannah saw me, purposefully made her way over to be, and smiling said she was glad that I'd come and asked if I'd like to dance. All of this made me feel really happy, and at the same time really confused, for what I think might be obvious enough reasons. But I got to see her, and I got to dance with her, and that made me happy.
It was good to see the other ladies there, too, though the only 'significant' one (for our discussion here) would be Meghan. I met her last semester, and we've kept in touch through regular emails. She's rather nice, pretty, and she seems to be interested in me. Being the fool I am, I have hesitations, most of which I'm not willing to lay bear in a public post. But at least to some exent I'm afraid that if we did try any sort of relationship: I'd mess things up and the poor girl would get hurt; or, I'd mess things up and *I* would get hurt. And a subset of either of those: I may be going to California for two+ years, I don't know if I might (or even want to, in ways) have a chance yet with Suzannah, and further I don't know if I might meet someone else. That is, generally, I'm afraid that I couldn't really commit to much of anything at all, and going in like that... I'm not sure I'd feel right about it. I'm thinking, though, more and more, that it might not hurt to take a shot at it; see if we get along, if there might be anything there, y'know? For one reason or another, I have "stop looking for the girls you're interested in and start looking for the girls who are interested in you" running through my head. I can't remember who told me that; probably most of you.
I should have asked Curtis for the "World of Warcraft" CDs before I came down here... I started playing it when Chris offered to try it out on his account (since he has things he'd best be doing instead), and I really like it. It has significant differences from City of Heroes, but I think they both have their appeal. One of my biggest compaints against CoH, and joys in WoW, was the quality and amount of actual Role-playing. I'm laughing at myself now, 'cause today was sadly lacking in WoW RP, and my brother introduced me to an awesome group of CoH RPers on Guardian. I may look to running with them more often. I may also frequent the CoH boards and see if I can't find RPers for Bethan and Jessie.
Mmmmm, and I think I've run out of things to say. So, I'll either try doing some writing (which I haven't done in *forever*), or do some of my psyche homework.
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