A Post Unfinished
May. 27th, 2004 09:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackofallgeeksThis was part of a post I'd meant to finish about a week ago, but work has managed to keep me exhausted enough that I've forgotten what I was writing, really. What's here is still worth posting, though, I think, so I'll post this piece of a never-to-be-remembered post.
I begin to fear Trolls on my Journal. I haven't taken any steps against them yet, but it may lead to more locked journals if I find them more than a minor nuisance.
Ahhh, where to even begin... I'm a man who believes that each person must, at some point, decide what it is they want for their lives. Not always a turning point where someone decides all they want in life, very rarely so in fact, and certainly not something as nonsensicle as planning out every nuiance of your life. Rather, you decide what is important to you, where you want to see yourself go, who you want to be, and what you want to do. And usually it's a progression, a little at a time, as circumstances conspire to make you choose and decide.
I think I've decided a lot in my rather short time so far. For the longest time I decided I wanted to be married and have a family -- I'm actually pretty well known for it, among my friends, and it predates most of you all (excepting maybe Louis. Maybe). that's what I want to do and, as far as I can remember, it's what I've always wanted to do. In time, I decided a few other things: I decided that I wanted a Catholic family and that I wanted a lot of children (by today's standards). At one point I'd thought I decided that love was not a prerequisite, but in actuality I'd simply decided that I didn't believe in what had been presented to me -- by the media, mostly -- as the 'standard' definition of Love. I've since been trying to refine my definition, though I haven't come up with anything solid, yet, simply that love need not be erotic to be real and powerful.
Along the way I've decided a few things about who I want to be, as a person. I want to be intelligent, and well-read, and well-learned. I want honor, discipline, and integity. I want to be the sort of person people can depend on. I want to be cultured in art, music, and theatre, and conversant on a wide veriety of topics. I want to be friendly, open, an attentive listener, and able to relate to people and give advise when necessary. I want people to know where and how strongly I stand on issues, but know that I'll take them seriously and respectfully wien they voice their own opinions. I want to be respectful to others and dignified in myself. I want to be honestly and rationally Catholic, and devout in my faith.
It's quite a tall order, and I'm very, very, very far off from it, in my estimation.
I begin to fear Trolls on my Journal. I haven't taken any steps against them yet, but it may lead to more locked journals if I find them more than a minor nuisance.
Ahhh, where to even begin... I'm a man who believes that each person must, at some point, decide what it is they want for their lives. Not always a turning point where someone decides all they want in life, very rarely so in fact, and certainly not something as nonsensicle as planning out every nuiance of your life. Rather, you decide what is important to you, where you want to see yourself go, who you want to be, and what you want to do. And usually it's a progression, a little at a time, as circumstances conspire to make you choose and decide.
I think I've decided a lot in my rather short time so far. For the longest time I decided I wanted to be married and have a family -- I'm actually pretty well known for it, among my friends, and it predates most of you all (excepting maybe Louis. Maybe). that's what I want to do and, as far as I can remember, it's what I've always wanted to do. In time, I decided a few other things: I decided that I wanted a Catholic family and that I wanted a lot of children (by today's standards). At one point I'd thought I decided that love was not a prerequisite, but in actuality I'd simply decided that I didn't believe in what had been presented to me -- by the media, mostly -- as the 'standard' definition of Love. I've since been trying to refine my definition, though I haven't come up with anything solid, yet, simply that love need not be erotic to be real and powerful.
Along the way I've decided a few things about who I want to be, as a person. I want to be intelligent, and well-read, and well-learned. I want honor, discipline, and integity. I want to be the sort of person people can depend on. I want to be cultured in art, music, and theatre, and conversant on a wide veriety of topics. I want to be friendly, open, an attentive listener, and able to relate to people and give advise when necessary. I want people to know where and how strongly I stand on issues, but know that I'll take them seriously and respectfully wien they voice their own opinions. I want to be respectful to others and dignified in myself. I want to be honestly and rationally Catholic, and devout in my faith.
It's quite a tall order, and I'm very, very, very far off from it, in my estimation.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-05-28 03:11 pm (UTC)The first time I met you, when GP came home, I had several minutes of conversation with him along the lines of "
I think you need to have more faith in yourself, honestly.
no subject
Date: 2004-05-29 12:58 am (UTC)Still, given that, I have A LOT to learn, and a lot I can do better, and in as much as I neither am nor know, that much I'm off from where I want to be.
well, darling...
Date: 2004-05-31 02:13 pm (UTC)As you said, it's a tall order- but it does give you something to aim for-
to spin a cliche or three thousand.
forgive me- this is too early for me to be up AND aware.