Passing Thoughts
Apr. 14th, 2004 02:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackofallgeeksModesty.
Recently, passing through Friends' journals and reading through Friends' Friends' journals, I've stumbled upon the issue of modesty and who's 'responsible.'
That sounds quite awkward.
Who's responsible? Who's responsible for what?
Tori Amos was quoted, "So I wore a slinky red thing, does that mean I should spread?" Tori has such a way with words. The point was, if a girl wears 'immodest' clothes, and some guy has impure thoughts, who's at fault? Surley not the girl, it was argued, because surely she wasn't inviting it, or asking for it, or what have you.
Take a step back. Tori's song is about rape. I'm not touching that subject, and my comment that she "wasn't asking for it" isn't meant to apply there.
That having been said, it takes two to tango. I think it's a commonly accepted belief that men struggle with lust quite a bit. Every two minutes, it's been claimed. The thing of it is that while, yes, men have a responsibility to control themselves, doesn't it also follow that women have a 'responsibility' to not tempt, directly or indirectly? If you're trying to help an addict, you don't wave heroine in front of him. Is it not irresponsible, to some extent, for women to put us into that situation?
-shrugs- Maybe it's just me. You know, I can be odd at times. But still, it seems only reasonable that if a girl's walking around exposed, at least some of the blame is hers. -shrugs-
Recently, passing through Friends' journals and reading through Friends' Friends' journals, I've stumbled upon the issue of modesty and who's 'responsible.'
That sounds quite awkward.
Who's responsible? Who's responsible for what?
Tori Amos was quoted, "So I wore a slinky red thing, does that mean I should spread?" Tori has such a way with words. The point was, if a girl wears 'immodest' clothes, and some guy has impure thoughts, who's at fault? Surley not the girl, it was argued, because surely she wasn't inviting it, or asking for it, or what have you.
Take a step back. Tori's song is about rape. I'm not touching that subject, and my comment that she "wasn't asking for it" isn't meant to apply there.
That having been said, it takes two to tango. I think it's a commonly accepted belief that men struggle with lust quite a bit. Every two minutes, it's been claimed. The thing of it is that while, yes, men have a responsibility to control themselves, doesn't it also follow that women have a 'responsibility' to not tempt, directly or indirectly? If you're trying to help an addict, you don't wave heroine in front of him. Is it not irresponsible, to some extent, for women to put us into that situation?
-shrugs- Maybe it's just me. You know, I can be odd at times. But still, it seems only reasonable that if a girl's walking around exposed, at least some of the blame is hers. -shrugs-
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no subject
Date: 2004-04-15 10:06 am (UTC)As to the girl in a bra and cut offs, it's all about her intentions. If she's genuinely hot, and it's miserable to be wearing more clothing, than I don't blame her a bit for her outfit. If she's doing it to try to get a reaction, then yes, she is to blame because that's what she's trying to do.
It's all about intent. There are clothes I have that I generally wouldn't wear unless it's goddamn miserably hot and I can't spent my entire day in a cold bathtub. But when I wear them, they could be considered immodest, because of the unavoidable amount of cleavage I end up baring, coupled with the fact that I'm all hot and sweaty and glistening with steamy trails of wetness dripping off of my body... do you see how something like that could be entirely unintentional? Would you be blaming me in that situation?
There are other shirts I have that are cut to bring out my figure, and yes, even to flaunt that same-said cleavage. But I don't end up looking like some stripper or whore off of the street. I'd wear any of these shirts in front of my mother. If I'm just wearing one of these to go to the store for some milk and I get manhandled inappropriately, the blame is entirely on the other person breaking approprate social bounds. If I'm really going out to have fun and I'm "on display" and I get manhandled, I believe it is not my DRESS that gets me there, it is my ACTIONS. I could be wearing the most restrictive, unattractive dress possible, but still act in such a way to bring the same treatment upon myself.
But honestly, you'll find me quite biased, as someone who was inappropriately handled as a child from a trusted individual. I've had to really pick the situation apart to be able to live my life as a normal person. I've had to believe that "it wasn't my fault" or I would have lost my sanity long ago. I still believe in the sanctity of a body, and even if I am advertising, you better not touch me unless I've indicated that it's okay, and I think every other person has that right too.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-15 12:09 pm (UTC)Firstly, I agree, it is wholly wrong for a person to speak or act inappropriately, regardless of anything else. I should expect that that would be understood of me.
Secondly, I would just like to point out that, contrary to what certain implications would show, I don't think that the body, naked or otherwise, is shameful.
I will say nothing else on the issue.