He Said, She Said...

[jackofallgeeks]

[18:28.44] Andrew: Would it be odd if I asked about the way you and I were/are/that sorta stuff?
[18:28.55] Claire: Not odd...
[18:29.17] Andrew: Is there a 'but' there?
[18:29.21] Claire: But if you'd like to know, I was glad we were just friends again...
[18:29.33] Andrew: -smiles- Yeah, I think I figured that.
[18:29.39] Andrew: I mean now, not then.
[18:30.00] Andrew: What was it like on your end?
[18:30.10] Claire: I dunno, it just didn't feel right, ya know?...
[18:30.37] Andrew: I think I might. -nods- I'm sorry if It was anything I did. I fear it might have been, having been where I just was.
[18:30.55] Andrew: But when we broke up, what was it like, for you?
[18:31.07] Andrew: ^_^;; And stuff.
[18:31.13] Claire: It was hard because you still held on so tight, I didn't know what to do...
[18:31.55] Claire: I wanted to still spend time with you and all that, but it felt strained, ya know?...
[18:32.48] Claire: Hope I'm not dredging up bad memories for you :-\...
[18:33.34] Andrew: Yeah, I didn't want to let go... ^_^;; And I kind of appologize about that, too, but... I felt really strongly for you, and I was scared and confused.... I wish we ad spent time together, even just as friends. I felt really alone alot last year.
-laughs- No, dear, you aren't. Everything about you and I is good memories... ^_^;; I'm past it all, now, and i'm curious as to your side of it.
[18:33.59] Andrew: Like I said, I think I'm in the same spot, now. i'm afraid I broke her heart, and I'm not sure how to soften the blow.
[18:34.56] Claire: There's not much you can do, or at least I didn't feel there was anything I could do. Hope she finds someone...
[18:35.29] Claire: It's hard to be lonely and even more so to make someone else that way...
[18:35.53] Andrew: ^_^;; And it gives you and I something to talk about, and I've missed having you around, even as a friend.
Yeah... I think she might... I'm just trying to be there as a friend, but i'm half-afraid of leading her on or something....
[18:36.25] Claire: Yep. It's hard to let them go and stay good friends...
[18:36.47] Claire: You feel like you're egging them on the entire time...
[18:37.12] Andrew: -smiles- I'm afraid it's still oing to hurt when she finds herself a new someone.
[18:37.27] Andrew: Hopefully i'll be courting a lovely young lady by then, though....
[18:37.29] Andrew: ^_^;;
[18:37.38] Claire: It will, only time can ease that...
[18:38.08] Andrew: (I sent my letter off, and now I have nothing to do with my time! -laughs-)
Yeah... -shrugs-
So, Might I ask some other questions...?
[18:38.14] Claire: Yes, it's very hard when you've found someone and they haven't, too. You feel bad. Even just having someone you're interested in..
[18:38.21] Claire: Sure...
[18:38.53] Andrew: ;-) On that note, when did you find Mark? I got his name right, right? And how are you two doing?
[18:39.25] Claire: brb...
[18:39.27] Andrew: :-p
[18:39.29] Andrew: OK.
[18:39.57] Claire: Sorry, that was my mom...
[18:40.07] Andrew: S'okay.
[18:40.10] Andrew: Phone?
[18:40.54] Claire: Mark and I are doing great ^_^. I hate coming back to Umass because it means no him... Yeah, she caught me on the electronic leash...
[18:41.23] Andrew: :-p Don't tell me YOU refer to Cells that way, too. :-p
[18:41.32] Claire: Heehee Fraid so...
[18:41.44] Andrew: :-p Just ignore it if you don't wann chat. :-p
[18:41.55] Claire: Well, I can't ignore my mom, come on...
[18:42.19] Andrew: I get gruff cause I 'never' answer my phone. ^_^;; Like anyone ever calls....
Well, yeah, I don't expect you to ignotre your mom, but still... a leash? :-p
[18:42.31] Andrew: -giggles- Choto kinky desu, ne? ;-)
[18:42.43] Claire: It's always with me... lol Yeah...
[18:43.20] Andrew: But anyways....
[18:44.56] Claire: I've known Mark since freshman year. Always thought he was cute but never did anything about it (shrug). Then comes senior year and we're in gov class together. We started playing 'games' around February...
[18:45.15] Claire: Officially got together the weekend after prom...
[18:45.22] Andrew: -nods- Yeah.
[18:45.54] Claire: It's a hilarious story if we ever get a chance to sit down. Thoroughly entertaining...
[18:46.34] Andrew: :-p Well, I was gonna see f we could get t'gether sometime over break, for coffee or something equally arbitrary. ;-) You could tell me about it then.'
[18:46.57] Claire: lol If it can be arranged I'd like that...
[18:47.47] Andrew: Yeah, I'd really like t'see you again. ^_^;; It wouldn't be too much trouble, I make three and four hour drives like they're nothing. :-p
[18:48.03] Andrew: You good for another question...?
[18:48.16] Claire: lol It'd make my job easier, though I don't mind meeting you in the middle...
[18:48.18] Claire: Sure..
[18:49.58] Andrew: Yeah, we can do whichever, I don't mind. And I've got Isis, so w00+
OK, I have to admit it's bothered me in itself, and it's bothered me that I didn't take you at your work, which I appologize for, but... No holds barred, why did we break up?
[18:50.08] Andrew: work = word.
[18:52.20] Claire: There were a couple reasons, most of which I've tried to forget and thus forgot. But I think the main thing was that I didn't feel like I could marry you. The lifestyle I know/knew you wanted wasn't what I wanted. I felt like I wouldn't get everything accomplished that I'd wanted done...
[18:52.56] Claire: You know what I mean?...
[18:54.04] Andrew: Yeah, I really do. And you know, I admire you more for that, if you don't mind me saying so. ^_^;;
[18:54.29] Claire: It makes me feel better to hear you say that ^_^...
[18:54.55] Claire: I still feel terrible for hurting you...
[18:55.30] Andrew: -shakes head- No, it's OK, Dear. I still care for you, even if I am over the whole 'us' thing. What's done is done, and all that.
[18:56.06] Claire: I really hope Suzanna works out with you, she sounds wonderful...
[18:56.14] Andrew: -smiles- Don't feel too bad for hurting me, Dear, cause you did what you felt was right, and I'd much prefer that than anything else.
[18:57.05] Andrew: ^_^;; Yeah, she and I can just seem to talk and such... I get kinda scared, though, because in alot of ways, is feels like she stepped right out of the 1800s, and I don't feel like i fit in her world...
[18:58.02] Claire: I know exactly what you mean. Give it some time, maybe there's not as many differences as you think. It might just take some thinking...
[18:58.45] Andrew: Heh, yeah, perhapse. :-p She's Catholic, she wants to have a family, she likes cooking, and I feel like she and I are on the same intellectual level, which is wonderous. ^_^
[18:59.02] Claire: It took me a while to figure out what I wanted. You helped a lot in that, which I thank you for..
[18:59.29] Andrew: ^_^ Then I'm happy I helped.
[18:59.47] Claire: You're my favorite "mistake" :-P...
[19:00.17] Andrew: I'm starting to figure out what I want, but then, maybe I already knew. ^_^;; I KNEW Asya and I wouldn't work, even before we started....
Awwww. -giggles- I love you, Claire! -laughs-
[19:01.53] Claire: It doesn't hurt to date people to help you figure out what you want, I think my mother tried to tell me that once..
[19:02.41] Andrew: I think it sorta does... Hurt, at least. ^_^;; But then, yeah, I think it does help you figure things out, as long as it doesn't end too harshly...
[19:03.12] Andrew: I'm still trying to get through some of my early baggage, but I think you helped alot with that. :-p Especially when you broke up with me. -laughs-
[19:03.28] Claire: Yeah... But even that helps you as long as you learn from it...
[19:03.46] Claire: It hurts like hell, but thta makes you appreciate the good things that much more..
[19:04.27] Andrew: Well, see, After Nancy, for example, I only knew of relationships ending badly. And, my year of suckage aside, you and I are still good friends. And I thik Asya and I are still going to be friends. And that makes me feel better, about everything in general.
[19:04.42] Andrew: Yeah, sometimes pain isn't a bad thing.

Comments

[surichan.livejournal.com]

Heh. You cut it. I love you.

Aren't conversations with exes great? The best time Daniel and I ever had together, unequivocally, was that night we spent in the Silver Diner eating mozzerella wontons and talking about What Went Wrong™. To be finally able to push away all the bullshit and talk to one another as friends...good feeling. Hell...great feeling. Even though you and Claire were friends a lot sooner after your relationship ended than Daniel and I were, I'm sure you know, in some capacity, what I'm talking about.

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

-laughs- Yeah. After I posted it, I realized how insanely long it was so... snip-snip.

And yeah, it is good. I still care very strongly for her, but in that friend-type way. And it's always good, regardless of relationship, when you can cut through everything and just tell things like they are. I don't know that people do that enough, in general. But yes, it was good stuff, and it was really grand talking with her again.

Reading your conversation actually helped me out!

[higheststar.livejournal.com]

Yeah so I'm sure you know all my past drama with Andrew and then Justin. But it wasn't till this summer, I dated this guy, moved to Fairfax, and then he ended it and I wanted to hang on so bad. It was my first real heart break from a break up. I mean it wasn't like a Andrew or Justin (it which I had wanted it mostly) or Claire :-) break up, but I was on the other side like Asya is. Just let her guide how much she wants to keep in contact and don't be surprised if that changes from day to day for a long time. At first I wanted to talk to him, then couldn't take it. And although he never showed it, I knew he was happy about the breakup and then he started seeing someone else soon after. It's kinda weird how close the stories are (well except I'm not jewish :-)

But yeah, conversations with exes rock cause its someone you already have a bond with. Plus once you're over it, its so relieving to find out what really happened.

Everybody's trying not to be just like Everybody, and I don't want to be like that.

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

-laughs-
Point one, no, actually I don't know any of what happened with you and Andrew, or Justin. With Andrew, that was way back when you were just "Jenny's Friend," and no one told me anything.  ^_^;;  I barely even knew you dated him until well after the fact (since, you know, weren't we all on Cross Country t'gether? Maybe I was too busy paying attention to Meghan...). Then, with Justin, it was kinda like "Oh yeah, they broke up," and I was miles behind that one, too.  ^_^;;  I'm so out of the loop, ne?

Point two, in my breakup with Claire, I was very much where Asya is now; you can ask anyone who knew me last year, I was a shattered man.  ^_^;;  And it's kind of funny, because now I kind of have a lot more insight to what may have happened with Claire and I, and because of that, there's SO MUCH I feel I should apologize for. I donno if she'd let me, though.

And point three, yes, conversations with Exes are good stuff and, I think, if connections can be kept up, they make some of the best friends because of the intimacy that you've already shared. And such.

Re: Everybody's trying not to be just like Everybody, and I don't want to be like that.

[higheststar.livejournal.com]

Point One (:-)) I was grouping Justin, Andrew, and Claire by type of relationship (one in which you hoped there was a long term future) not type of breakup. From what I know, you kinda knew from the start that the thing with Asya (just like my thing with summer guy) was not gonna last forever or at least a long shot (not that that helps her as I well know).

Point Two: Sometime I will tell you the legend of Andrew and Beth and Justin and Beth (in person so I don't have to type or on a very boring night in which I can't sleep) And Andrew and I didn't date the year you ran (it was just one year, right?) We started dating in spring of my sophmore (your freshman year) and dated up until my senior year of hs.

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

Point One: Ah, yes, that does make sense. -nods- So, then, you knew it wasn't going to work with Summer Guy, but you still wanted to hold on to it, eh? Yeah, that's pretty close to Anastasiya and I, except that for a while there, we really were interested in trying to make it work... But, she wanted me to convert to Judeism, and yeah, I donm't see that happening, ever.

Point Two: Hey, maybe we could get together for Coffee or something equally arbitrary and swap stories. It could be fun. And yeah, I was only running one year, cause after that we started Homeschooling, and I didn't expect you two were going outr while we were running together -- still, I WAS around the second half of Freshman year, so I WAS there for the start, I just didn't know.

[higheststar.livejournal.com]

Point One: Yeah, thought it wasn't gonna work, but then we started to get serious and tried to make, only for it not eventually (though I didn't know that until it was too late for him to want to try)

Point Two: We should get coffee, I love coffee. Where do you live anyway?

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

-laughs- Coffee always makes a good excuse t'get t'gether and chat. At the moment, I'm still at school in the heart of DC, but after next week (exams, whoo) I'll be back down in Southern Maryland for Christmas break.

[starlight1184.livejournal.com]

Claire: It doesn't hurt to date people to help you figure out what you want, I think my mother tried to tell me that once..
Andrew: I think it sorta does... Hurt, at least. ^_^;; But then, yeah, I think it does help you figure things out, as long as it doesn't end too harshly...

Isn't that what I said? :-)

I'm glad you guys got the chance to talk.

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

-laughs- Yes, Rachel, it is. But the trouble is... Drawing the line, I guess. If it gets to serious on either side, and then it has to end, it hurts. And that's not cool. And because of that, I suppose drawing the line is the hardest part and, for me, once you say "We can only be this close," then it kinda... kinda falls into the 'why are we even doing this?' So... I think it's better just to have close friends, or something... I donno. I've decided there MUST be something better than dating, but I'm not sure what, yet.

Claire: You're my favorite "mistake" :-P...
Whee, I'm a song title!

[starlight1184.livejournal.com]

Hehehe. I know. Just thought I'd take that "I told you so" oppourtunity. I don't get many. :-)
Friends with benefits is a good alternative. ;-)

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

-laughs- You have a point, you don't get many "I told you so" moments. -grins-
And while Friends with Benefits may be an enjoyable alternative, it doesn't keep things from getting too serious on one side the other, and then what? But then, I suppose, it could be argued that nothing can really prevent that (though, I think, generally, 'Just Friends' does a decent job...).

[otakulk.livejournal.com]

Hey that was a nice conversation!
okay so I wanted to post a comment but I have little to say :P