Don't Mind Me
Jan. 31st, 2002 10:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackofallgeeksBefore I start, let me say that I don't mean to insult anyone, and I know we all have our own lives to live, things to see and people to do and all that. I'm just still in a sour mood from last night, and it's my journal, dam it.
I'm irritated.
My mom once (ha, once he says...) told me that I'm over sensitive. I would get upset (that means he cried, people) over the simplest things. She was right, to an extent, but it's more I take personally what people don't intend to be personal. If my mom was upset because the house wasn't getting picked up, I would take it as a personal affront and get upset because, dam it, I was picking up (that's a classic example).
Right now I'm isulted by the silence I've found online. No e-mails, but more pertinent to this journal, no comments. I don't mean that, not really - I DO have comments on here, but often it's just one short little comment, and where there's more than one, it's typical that I made half of them.
This really isn't a big deal, and it wouldn't irritate me so save for one thing - if I just wanted to reflectf, I could save myself quite a bit of time and effort just by writing in my REAL journal, or making a note-pad, or just talking to myself. I WRITE this because I WANT people to tell me what they're thinking. I'm not looking for false, sugar coated "everything's fine" posts, and I'm not fishing for compliments. I would just like SOMETHING to happen on my Journal.
Like I said, I'm still sour from last night, and due to the events of last night and my current mood now, I think I'm just under some kind of stress. Just that time of the month, I suppose.
An update on that thing last night - I've rather cooled off since then. Sour, yes, but not quite so upset. I remembered that the day after I went to Virginia Beach, I did talk with Emily, for actual minutes, and there are moments, like Young Fire, where I can almost see what we had once. I'm just really confused and scared. I don't like losing friends (especially pretty ones), I've done it far too often in my time.
I'm irritated.
My mom once (ha, once he says...) told me that I'm over sensitive. I would get upset (that means he cried, people) over the simplest things. She was right, to an extent, but it's more I take personally what people don't intend to be personal. If my mom was upset because the house wasn't getting picked up, I would take it as a personal affront and get upset because, dam it, I was picking up (that's a classic example).
Right now I'm isulted by the silence I've found online. No e-mails, but more pertinent to this journal, no comments. I don't mean that, not really - I DO have comments on here, but often it's just one short little comment, and where there's more than one, it's typical that I made half of them.
This really isn't a big deal, and it wouldn't irritate me so save for one thing - if I just wanted to reflectf, I could save myself quite a bit of time and effort just by writing in my REAL journal, or making a note-pad, or just talking to myself. I WRITE this because I WANT people to tell me what they're thinking. I'm not looking for false, sugar coated "everything's fine" posts, and I'm not fishing for compliments. I would just like SOMETHING to happen on my Journal.
Like I said, I'm still sour from last night, and due to the events of last night and my current mood now, I think I'm just under some kind of stress. Just that time of the month, I suppose.
An update on that thing last night - I've rather cooled off since then. Sour, yes, but not quite so upset. I remembered that the day after I went to Virginia Beach, I did talk with Emily, for actual minutes, and there are moments, like Young Fire, where I can almost see what we had once. I'm just really confused and scared. I don't like losing friends (especially pretty ones), I've done it far too often in my time.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
I'm sorry, I'm just thinking of the right words to say...
Date: 2002-01-31 08:22 am (UTC)I Don't Care WHAT You Say, Just SAY It! ^_-
Date: 2002-01-31 03:29 pm (UTC)Perchance I crave attention more than I once though (Lord KNOWS Claire found that out at Neko...)
cheer up charlie... (aka: oh for pity's sake.. i'm singing willy wonka songs, for crying out loud!)
I know what you mean. Sometimes, if nobody comments, I take an entry off of the journal all-together. It's stupid because... this should be my journal. Not a public forum. But I use it as both a journal for recording often pathetic events in my life AND as a semi message board so that I can easily converse with my friends. When there are no comments, it stings a little.
Then I remember that as much as I comment (almost 2,000 of them total) ... it's not always possible in the lives of others for them to do that. I try to throw my thoughts and perspectives out there (both in your journal and elsewhere), even if they're silly, because I know that deep down, we all love comments. We like to hear the thoughts of others. Even if they aren't always the agreeeee-ing kind (although, to be honest, I'm far too non-confrontational to get into a debate of serious topics that I know I don't agree with people on, so I usually leave that alone. Heh, now you know how I was is High School, too!) ..
I'd say I'm sorry, but that seems such a weird thing to say. I know I owe you an e-mail and I AM sorry for being late on replying. My cold and other matters have kept me from wanting to say very much of anything (shock, I know) ... but I WILL write you back soon. Gilr Scout's Honour, or something like that. And yeah, I was a girl scout. ^__^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Uhm... anyway. This isn't making sense. But I have an idea of what you mean, so remember that, ne?
I Appreciate That, I Do
I know I haven't been as good with comments as I'd like, which it part of the reason I felt bad about posting this, but to be honest, it's been bugging me for a week or so now, so I've gotta let it out at some point. I recognize that we all have our own lives to live, but in a way, I just want to know I'm a part of those lives, y'know?
LOL You don't OWE me anything (though a reply would be appreciated ^_-) and there's really no need to appologize. If anything, this is one of the most self-centered entries I've posted. I really do appreciate you guys more than I make it sound.
I was a Boy Scout once, myself, but at 18 they kick you out (and when I say you, I mean me). My sister was a girl scout - how far didja get?
"I was a Boyscout once...
Date: 2002-01-31 08:26 pm (UTC)-Angel (Rent)
Of All The Things I Never Wanted To Know....
Date: 2002-01-31 09:03 pm (UTC)I know how you feel...
Date: 2002-01-31 02:36 pm (UTC)Anyways... I'll try to comment more, but usually I'm reading it as I talk to you, so I just talk about it with you. And with the emails... because of the damned journal, and an actually calm point in my life... no novels have been needed recently. But don't worry, if they're ever needed again, your mailbox will be overflowing. Promise.
Much love. :-)