A World of Darkness

[jackofallgeeks]

Work, damn you! The city stretched out far below, dark and dirty and grey. Even this late at night, cars packed the road and people crowded the sidewalks. The ceaseless noise of the streets was muffled by the rain pouring down from the low clouds. Damn it, work! With a mechanical whirr, Samson leaped over another of the small gaps between the crowded buildings, and landed hard on his feet. The hydraulics weren't working properly. He'd just had them readjusted. He looked over his shoulder, scanning for heat signatures, before getting to his feet to run across to the other side of the roof. The mission had gone wrong; most of his squad was dead, and now he was being chased by a Reality Deviant. This guy was worse than those nuts who believed they could fly; this guy didn't believe he couldn't fly. Samson felt his heartbeat as he splashed through the puddles that had gathered on the building. The other side was only a few yards away. A pipe grabbed his foot just as he was about to reach the edge, tripping him. He landed hard against the stones, and there was a loud crack as his shoulder hit. He couldn't tell if his shoulder or the stones had shattered; the pain was unbearable. Rainwater trained down his face as he lay there, gasping up at the sky. A flash of lightning revealed a figure, hanging suspended in the air a few feet away from Samson. It was the Deviant. He hung in the air, his leather boots about five feet up. He was clothed in a loose-fitted tunic; Deviants often dressed oddly, it was a wonder they couldn't find more of them. An amulet, glowing softly, hung around his neck, and every so often blue-white energy would spider up his form. Though the rain continued the pour, his hair blew wildly in the wind, dry. The Deviant spoke, though his mouth did not move; it was a soft sound, but was heard over even the crashes of thunder. "You and your kind have held sway long enough, Technocrat. The Reckoning is upon us, and it is time for a change." Samson struggled to get to his feet one more as the Deviant began to chant in some unintelligible language. There was a crack of thunder, and the last thing Samson saw was the Deviant's wind-blown silhouette against a backdrop of purple and grey. Then everything went white.

Comments

[ex-orin917.livejournal.com]

I like that. That is really good.

[photoholic62.livejournal.com]

Well written, interesting, what happens next?

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

Well, presumably, Samson gets carbonized.

You remember how I was talking about those short stories I was hoping to build into a novel or something? Well, this is the first one I've actually compiled. I'm putint it and the others that are to come in with my Other Snippets (), but they're going to be slightly different in that each will, necessarily, be more connected with the others. I'm not sure if this Deviant will be a major player in the story, but he may at that.

As a note, this is all based rather largly on White Wolf's World of Darkness, which is where they set their games, Mage: The Ascention, Vampire: The Masquerade, and Werewolf: The Appocalypse. I haven't yet been able to get into a group to play any of these games, so I thought I'd try the next best thing and write about them.

Or something.

[starlight1184.livejournal.com]

I think your other ones have been stronger... this one reminded me a bit to much of The Matrix (though it's not identical). I liked the description of the Deviant, with the amulet. Cool touch.

My favorite part though was "Then everything went white." Wonderful play on something most people use. White instead of black. Very cool. :-)

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

This is all based on White Wolf's Wolf of Darkness, as noted above. If I've ever told you anything about Mage: The Ascension, the Technocrats refer to Traditionalists as 'Superstitionists' or 'Reality Deviants' (actually, Reality Deviants can be anything supernatural, not just mages). I think I could have a lot of fun writing in this vein. A lot of fun.

Also, it only made sense for everything to go white, considering how the end came...

See comment on Leslie's reply for more.

[surichan.livejournal.com]

I liked it, too...but Rachel's right, it was very Matrix-y. Not that I'm complaining, but...eh...eh. I guess I've preferred your other works. This was enjoyable, though, don't get me wrong.

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

See, I'm afraid you and Rachel might be missing the point a bit... I mean, the only thing 'Matrix-y' I can figure is in here is the fact that Samson is jumping between buildings. But that's not all that uncommon, really. Spiderman, Daredevil, Batman, plenty of people go roof-hopping -- I'm not talking skyleaping like Trinity did. And, anyways, they guy's got hydraulics in his legs (not that I came out and said as much), which is, I think, quite different from the Matrix.

I'm actually rather curious as to why you and she thought that this was a weaker piece than my others, as I think, personally, this was one of my better writings, and it was definitely loads of fun to write.

[surichan.livejournal.com]

Well, aside from the roof-hopping, there's the fact that this Samson is being pursued by a malevolent-seeming being, who treats him as though he needs to be eradicated. It just felt like a Matrix-esque scene: the technological vs. other, the pursuit, and yes, the nighttime roof-hopping.

I dunno...there just didn't seem to be as much emotion involved in it as in your other pieces. I'm not saying it's weak...it just didn't strike me as much as some of your others.

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

I'll concede you the point... I'm probably being offended when I shouldn't be. I do think it's rather a great disservice to the entire genre to attribute such key elements to an admittedly recent addition in a long line of stories...

And the fact that, as I see it, this situation is quite the opposite of what you describe -- but then, I know more of the background. The Deviant is the one being Hunted; Samson and his crew just messed up. And I rather miss, in great part, how Matrix is Technology vs Other -- maybe Technology vs Man, but that still puts Technology as the Hunter, and we know very much that Samson was the prey in this scene.

But, it's also been pointed out by a number of people that The Matrix rips a number of elements from Mage; I myself would simply assert that they both derive from the same genre of story.

In any case, I concede.

[surichan.livejournal.com]

I would hesitate to say that the Matrix "rips off" anything. It draws from many different sources, yes - anime, comics, sci-fi, philosophy - but in this day and age, when just about everything that can be done has been, what story doesn't draw something from other sources?

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

I would tend to favor your stand, in that Matrix can't be said to really 'rip off' anything -- and admittedly, Mage and Matrix both rely heavily on Philosophy (though, I'd argue, more the former than the latter), and both are another step along the same road (that being the dark genre I mentioned). But, neither was my point, not my stance. They share commonalities. -shrugs-