You're a Wonderful Guy, for Someone Else

Flushing more negative emotion; don't mind me. I'm supposed to be leaving for a party, and if I can get some of this vinegar out first, maybe I'll make for better company.

In in a spot right now, again, where I don't think the girl I'm looking for exists. I don't think I ask for terribly much: smart, pretty, Catholic, wants a family. And wants me. It's that last bit that I can't help but feel is the sticking point. I'm sure there are plenty of smart, pretty, Catholic girls out there, and I'm sure plenty of them want a family. But...

I'm notoriously proud and confident. It's one of my greatest strengths, according to many friends. Sometimes I think it's one of my greatest failings, as I can be rather elitist and judgmental, and I generally don't recognize it as a problem. But even for that, I can't help but feel that "wanting me" is the most trying request I ever make of anyone. Without really meaning to, all of my relationships (romantic or otherwise) boil down to "I will offer you something so that you will love me." I have to have something to weigh against the terrible burden of liking me.

I know I'm a likable guy. I'm smart, and caring, I can be funny, and (with only a few recent exceptions) I've never had anyone say they don't want to know me.

Anyways, the point is that I just want people to like me, and I sometimes feel like that's asking a lot.