"Root of All Evil" by Abney Park

All these roots run deep, and this tree is old. This trunk is rotten, all these leaves have mold. Is it in our blood? Or is it from abuse? Past generations, legacy of misuse? I know my blood runs hot, and I've seen my blood is thick. I'm told my bloods not sweet, and I cry, "My soul is sick." We are the childern of childern, and we're handing down their pain. The root of all evil, is the sanity left to gain?

We were the victims, we were the culprits, we were the children who cry at night. We are the hunted, and we do the hurting, we are the children who cry at night.

The fathers' father's father may have made this truth, or was it in his blood, this legacy of abuse? We're the children of children, and we're handing down there pain. The root of all evil, is the sanity left to gain?

We were the victims, we were the culprits, we were the children who cry at night. We are the hunted, and we do the hurting, we are the children who cry at night.

All these roots run deep, and this tree is old. This trunk is rotten, all these leaves have mold. Is it in our blood? Or is it from abuse? Past generations, legacy of misuse?

We were the victims, we were the culprits, we were the children who cry at night. We are the hunted, and we do the hurting, we are the children who cry at night.
We were the victims, we were the culprits, we were the children who cry at night. We are the hunted, and we do the hurting, we are the children who cry at night.

The Problem of Pain

So, last night after eating corn beef and having some Guinness with friends, I came home to work on a bit of my research. Very randomly I got an IM from an here-again-gone-again friend of mine (really more of a friend of a friend) from high school, Ryan. We had a pretty good conversation talking about a whole bunch of stuff starting with girls and ending somewhere around religion.

Along the religion side of things, Ryan made some comment like "unless you believe in an afterlife without physical bodies" to which I replied "no, I believe in the resurrection of the body," which is a line straight from the Apostle's Creed. And with all the disbelief and incredulity one can muster through IM, he said, "are you serious?" Yeah, I said, it's a Catholic thing. I was a little shocked myself that he would have to ask me if I meant what I'd said, though in hindsight I don't think Ryan really knows me well at all.

That's not the point of the post, though, just the set up. We went from there to talking about how he doesn't believe in the resurrection of the body because he doesn't want an old decrepit body hanging on him for all eternity which itself touched ever so lightly on the meaning of pain. Essentially, he made a comment about pain being completely unnecessary, that "there's no reason for it whatsoever," which lead to me saying I disagreed fundamentally and that I didn't care to argue the topic of pain. So we moved on.

( But I'd like to address it some here. )

So, you want her to be surprised?

Another thing Ryan and I talked about last night was the topic of girls. I mean, why not, they're fascinating creatures. The conversation got off on a bit of an... odd fork, though, when after saying he's been with his current girlfriend for over three years and they were planning on moving in together, there wasn't anything "serious" in the works, ie an engagement.

Now, I'll readily admit that I'm old-fashioned and not everyone thinks along the same lines as me about the way things ought to be and ought not to be. I'm sure I have friends who not only wouldn't see a problem with dating for years on end indefinitely, but would have a problem with me for expecting that marriage ought to come into it at some point. That's fine and I can accept that, and Ryan's bit would have elicited little more than an, "Oh, well, that's... interesting," if not for the fact that he went on to tell me about the time he proposed to her last year. So now we have Ryan with a girl he's dated for years, and is still dating, who he proposed to once. When I asked if the proposal went bad (which, had he said yes, would have been followed up by wondering why they were still together; isn't that kind of a, you know, deal-breaker?) he said no -- she turned him down because her parents didn't want her to get engaged before she graduated college. (I'll reserve my commentary on that for the time being.)

So, if he wanted to marry her before, and it was just a matter of her graduating (which, by the by, happens in two months now) why nothing was in the works. Had he changed his mind since then? (and, again, if so why were they still together?) And he said no, but he didn't want to propose again so soon because she would be expecting it. And he wanted her to be surprised.

I think here there are two lines of thought. There's the one line that says that a proposal should be magically romantic, unexpected, involve an expensive ring, starlight, a good story to tell the grandkids. And I think there's a little bit of value in that, sure; I think it's always good to have stories to tell the grandkids. But... I don't know. It seems a bit foolish to me. I imagine that, one way or another, she ought not be surprised by you proposing to her. There's a level where she *should* be expecting it, and if she's not -- if you really are surprising her -- I think there are some issues that need to be addressed in your relationship. It's all well and good to stage something wonderfully romantic for her if that's what she wants; let her have her dreams. But at the same time, I'd be just as happy casually asking her one lazy Thursday evening, "so, do you want to get married in the fall or the spring?"

I guess 'how you do it' doesn't matter to me quite as much as the "why you don't" -- Ryan was putting off proposing for the simple reason that it wouldn't be a surprise. And that just seems... foolish. If you want to marry her, why would you put it off a day longer than you had to?

In the end Ryan concluded he was probably just over-thinking it, and that he was quietly afraid that if he did what she was expecting, she might suspect his motives (ie, just doing what was expected of him). Of course, it *that's* the case, once again there are deeper issues that probably should be addressed.

GameSwap

I think GameSwap is a great idea, and actually something I've been wanting for a long time. The idea is that you put up used games that you've tired of to trade to people who haven't, and in exchange can trade other people for games you DO want. There's a HUGE turn-over rate for video games, especially for hard-core gamers who get better value renting than buying, and none of the places like GameStop of FuncoLand offers a suitable buy-back or exchange rate. With this service, you can get a good value for your old game and fine the old, out-of-stock titles you'd like to own.

It's all mail-based and it's not free -- it runs on a credit system, which you either get for swapping games to other people or purchase yourself from the GameSwap site -- but it's completely legal (nothing wrong with selling or bartering objects you own) and a great idea for anyone with old, unused games laying around. (I don't THINK they have a reverse function to give you money back for credits earned, but it might be something they should look into; if I can 'sell' my games on GameSwap then everyone wins once I decide I'm done gaming; no reason to swap them for credits I can't use if I can just hawk them at a garage sale.)