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That which does not kill me...
Jan. 15th, 2006 03:17 pmI just did what my college room mates almost never did.
I walked a few miles to Safeway, bought my groceries, and walked back.
It was actually pretty exhilarating, in a way. It cost me about $85.
And $10 of that was to a fat man on the side of the road, presumably homeless.
This is notable because I don't usually give money to panhandlers. Mostly because I'm a Heartless Conservative (card-carrying since '01). It seems to me that one should be able to provide for oneself and, all else aside, sitting on your butt or standing on the corner isn't very productive, even if you do hit a tender cord with people and they give you money. Not to mention that there are stories of people being reasonably well-off and panhandling because it's easier than a job. And, in particular here, there's something that seems incongruous about a fat homeless man.
But, I gave him the money. I don't usually carry cash, and the $10 was all I had. I'm sure, if I'd unslung the very heavy pack I was carrying (full of groceries I'd bought with my $2000+/month paycheck), I could have found some pocket change, but my phrasing here should explain why I didn't. And even if he is a scam artist, or takes my money to drink himself into a stupor, my trying to help a person in apparent need makes me a better person, doesn't it?
It occurred to me, on my way home, that I want to rekindle my faith. Faith in God, in humanity, in myself, in love -- faith in anything more than suffering. I just feel so spiritually dead sometimes.
Mass tonight at 5:00. I really don't like evening masses, but I didn't get up to go this morning, and I haven't missed mass (unduly), so I'm not going to start now. I likely would have completely lost myself by now if I had. I've been meaning to start going to daily mass, but circumstances conspire against me -- like having class every day at Noon, which is when the chapel on campus has daily mass. I'm going to try getting up early and riding over to Church for the early 8am mass before my 9am classes, but that means getting up early, which I've been having trouble with.
In a not-completely-unrelated note, I participated in this Book Exchange thing, whereby my buddy, Daniel, sends me a book and I do likewise for a buddy of mine, and he likewise for his buddy, and so on. I still haven't gotten my buddy's book out yet, but I got Daniel's a couple days ago. And part of the deal was to read it and post what my thoughts were.
Well, I devoured the book. it was, in fact, more of a graphic novel (read: glorified comic book), but I'm not splitting hairs. It was a collection of Nightcrawler comics! Daniel enclosed a little note saying that he hadn't read the book himself, but that he knew that Nightcrawler had a bit about being a devout Catholic (according to said book, he was once studying to be a priest), and he figured he couldn't pass up going for a Catholicism-meets-City-of-Heroes book for me. I'm not sure if he knew it, but Nightcrawler is possibly my favorite Marvel character (running close with Spider Man, with Batman being the all-time top superhero), and for exactly the reasons he noted.
So, I loved it. The book says it's a collection of six Nightcrawler comics, spanning two connected story lines, the first dealing with a coven of demon-worshiper sorts and the second dealing with ghosts. I only have one complaint in that it wasn't long enough -- I devoured it in two nights, which is really saying something for me. Actually, though, I do have another complaint, though this really just generalizes to comic culture in general; and that is, in each story, Nightcrawler and others involved were *surprised* that there were ghosts and demons and such, even though they're mutants, and they're on a first-name basis with guys like Dr. Strange and Professor X. I mean, after a while, wouldn't it get to a point where it's hard to surprise these guys with anything? "Oh, so, you're my daughter from the future, come back to the past to stop a vicious plague, and inadvertently possessed by the demon that held sway over my girlfriend last year... Ok, I'll buy that."
For the last half-hour, I was inexplicably under the impression that it was the year 2003. That was odd.
I walked a few miles to Safeway, bought my groceries, and walked back.
It was actually pretty exhilarating, in a way. It cost me about $85.
And $10 of that was to a fat man on the side of the road, presumably homeless.
This is notable because I don't usually give money to panhandlers. Mostly because I'm a Heartless Conservative (card-carrying since '01). It seems to me that one should be able to provide for oneself and, all else aside, sitting on your butt or standing on the corner isn't very productive, even if you do hit a tender cord with people and they give you money. Not to mention that there are stories of people being reasonably well-off and panhandling because it's easier than a job. And, in particular here, there's something that seems incongruous about a fat homeless man.
But, I gave him the money. I don't usually carry cash, and the $10 was all I had. I'm sure, if I'd unslung the very heavy pack I was carrying (full of groceries I'd bought with my $2000+/month paycheck), I could have found some pocket change, but my phrasing here should explain why I didn't. And even if he is a scam artist, or takes my money to drink himself into a stupor, my trying to help a person in apparent need makes me a better person, doesn't it?
It occurred to me, on my way home, that I want to rekindle my faith. Faith in God, in humanity, in myself, in love -- faith in anything more than suffering. I just feel so spiritually dead sometimes.
Mass tonight at 5:00. I really don't like evening masses, but I didn't get up to go this morning, and I haven't missed mass (unduly), so I'm not going to start now. I likely would have completely lost myself by now if I had. I've been meaning to start going to daily mass, but circumstances conspire against me -- like having class every day at Noon, which is when the chapel on campus has daily mass. I'm going to try getting up early and riding over to Church for the early 8am mass before my 9am classes, but that means getting up early, which I've been having trouble with.
In a not-completely-unrelated note, I participated in this Book Exchange thing, whereby my buddy, Daniel, sends me a book and I do likewise for a buddy of mine, and he likewise for his buddy, and so on. I still haven't gotten my buddy's book out yet, but I got Daniel's a couple days ago. And part of the deal was to read it and post what my thoughts were.
Well, I devoured the book. it was, in fact, more of a graphic novel (read: glorified comic book), but I'm not splitting hairs. It was a collection of Nightcrawler comics! Daniel enclosed a little note saying that he hadn't read the book himself, but that he knew that Nightcrawler had a bit about being a devout Catholic (according to said book, he was once studying to be a priest), and he figured he couldn't pass up going for a Catholicism-meets-City-of-Heroes book for me. I'm not sure if he knew it, but Nightcrawler is possibly my favorite Marvel character (running close with Spider Man, with Batman being the all-time top superhero), and for exactly the reasons he noted.
So, I loved it. The book says it's a collection of six Nightcrawler comics, spanning two connected story lines, the first dealing with a coven of demon-worshiper sorts and the second dealing with ghosts. I only have one complaint in that it wasn't long enough -- I devoured it in two nights, which is really saying something for me. Actually, though, I do have another complaint, though this really just generalizes to comic culture in general; and that is, in each story, Nightcrawler and others involved were *surprised* that there were ghosts and demons and such, even though they're mutants, and they're on a first-name basis with guys like Dr. Strange and Professor X. I mean, after a while, wouldn't it get to a point where it's hard to surprise these guys with anything? "Oh, so, you're my daughter from the future, come back to the past to stop a vicious plague, and inadvertently possessed by the demon that held sway over my girlfriend last year... Ok, I'll buy that."
For the last half-hour, I was inexplicably under the impression that it was the year 2003. That was odd.
