(no subject)

I had a dream last night. About Suzannah. In my dream, I confronted her about avoiding me, about how I'm the only one putting effort into maintaining any kind of friendship. For a moment, she'd given me a look that said I was being foolish, and for a moment I was ready to just storm off and be done with it. And then I pressed my point, that I didn't want to be 'done with it.' That I was putting effort in because I wanted to be friends. She jotted down a note and handed it to me, and I woke up before I could read it.

I've been Ok regarding this. In fact, I've been so busy, doing this or that, that I've hardly had time to think about it at all until this morning. This morning, I miss her. The worst part about all this, for me, is that it almost feels like a break-up, but we were never really dating.

Sometimes, as in my dream, I just don't care, I'm tired, and I just want to let it die. And that makes me really sad.