I have one goal in life, and it's very difficult to do alone...

I asked Suzannah 'out' in an official way tonight... Put simply, for me and her, dating isn't just for fun or companionship, friends supply that (in theory). Dating is preparation for marriage, ie, it's specifically directed toward the possibility of marriage.

Her answer: Not now.

Which is a perfectly reasonable answer for a practical girl who has a good two years of college before she graduates. She believes she's not yet in a position to consider marriage as a possibility, and I kind of have to agree with her. Even I have been having doubts about my own readiness, and I have but one year left, and I'm quite certain I want to be married... Still...

I would, of course, rather be told I'm too early than that I'm too late. She said that maybe if I were still interested at a later date that there might be a different answer. She also said she didn't want to hurt me, and that she still very much wanted to be friends. I want to be friends, too. I'd like to be more, but to be friends will suffice...

It's been a long time since I pulled 90mph on the highway. It's been a long time as well since I tasted salty tears. Rachel was there for me, as she always is. The pain will fade, and 'Not Now' is not a 'No.'

I'm tired. It's been a very exhaustive day.
I think I'll go to sleep.

We shouted out, "Who killed the Kennedys?"

I get the sinking suspicion that this school is trying to play under-handed trick to keep people from file sharing.
Maybe I'm paranoid. Maybe I'm not. What I do know is that ResNet, the network that connects personal computers in the residence halls to the internet, has been majorly screwy lately. For the last month, my internet access has dropped randomly, for no reason, and come back up randomly, too. I haven't timed the intervals between when it drops and when it picks back up. The public school computers in the labs around campus have not had this problem.

It's not a complete drop, either. Outlook can't get to my mail, IE won't open any pages, Semagic can't connect to LJ and my SSH client can't connect to Secho, but if Trillian is connected when I 'lose' my internet, it maintains it's connection. I can't connect to Trillian if it's already died, though.

And I'm not the only one that it does this to, either. All of my roomies have experienced it to some extent or another -- Curtis, Chris, and I (who use our computers the most) have felt it more than Zach or Mike, but even they have lost access. As has my buddy Jim and a few of his friends. And to top it all off, my computer routinely drops off the internet whenever I try to view a webpage that loads a lot of graphics, like www.dilbert.com or www.furcadia.com. Fishy, fishy, fishy.

I IMed another friend of mine, who works at the school paper, to see if they've looked into it at all. They have a way of being a thorn in the Computer Center's side, and especially if the Center IS playing something under the table, and our legitimate services are being interrupted because of it... I have anger.

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Update (14:46): Here at work, I just checked all the different pages that kill my internet, and not only do they load, but they load *very* fast. That is all.

(no subject)

The sun was up and bright this morning a 8:00.
It was warm and green out as I walked to my class at 11:00.
There were no clouds as I made my way to work at 1:00.
The air was heavy and heated when I went out aroun 3:00.
The sky began to dim as I laid down around 5:00.
Now, at 7:00, a gray sky pours down a steady rain.
Thunder rumbles in the distance.
I think it's beautiful.