Dreaming

[jackofallgeeks]

Me: Yeah, I get what you're saying, but I don't WANT casual sex, much as it seems no one believes me. It's just.... I tell people my sister's having a kid and everyone has a reason for why she must be out of her mind to have another kid. And I sit here thinking, 'That's what I want.' I want a family, and kids, and... and that's it. That's what I WANT. And it seems like the whole fucking world thinks that's a bad thing. It's bad enough I don't have any damn buisness ambitions, but now the one thing I DO want to accomplish is stupid..... It's not you, don't think that, it's the whole damn world....I agree that you have alot of good points, and our society fucks girls over. I agree toytally, and there's SO many things wrong with ouir society, but.... -shrugs- Maybe I'm just tired...

Her: I understand. I'm not saying it's a bad dream. If it serves Jen and you, go ahead. It's not my cup of tea. And you do sound tired; that's a lot of cussing for you.

Not wholly unrelated, I want someone to love. Every now and again I'll think I just need someone who will let me love them. I'm so full of affection, and my greatest frustration is the notion that no one wants the affection I have to offer them... But that's not wholly the case, either. I need a girl I can love. It's not enough that she be receptive -- elsewise I'm sure I could find plenty of ladies as lonely as I am. But... it's not that simple. And I think the harest thing is admitting -- to myself as well as to others -- that some girls just can't fill that role. It make me feel bad... less than empty.

I don't -need- someone. I'm not even 20 yet, and I have every intention of living at least another 60 years, if not 80 or more. There's so much I can do and be. I don't -need- someone.
But I want her.

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[thismortalquill.livejournal.com]

::she caresses his forehead:: Take heart.