Sometimes in our lives...

There are times when I am very content with life.
There are times when I just want to break things.
There are times when I'll just be thinking to myself 'This person gets me!'
There are times when I'm sure no one in the world understands.

Sometimes I feel I'm surrounded by people who really and truely care.
Sometimes I feel really and truely alone.
Sometimes I feel so dedicated, so set, so ready!
Sometimes I don't know if I can take another step.

Once in a while everything just makes sense.
Once in a while there just isn't a point anymore.

Occationally I can't stop laughing.
Occationally wish I could cry.

I find there are many times when I want to tell everything, but I can say nothing.
There are times when I'm sure no one wants to listen to what I have to say - that they don't care.
If I told you right now everything on my mind, would you turn and walk away? Are you sure?
If I said things really aren't as bad as I present them, would I believe it? Are you sure?

It's a quiet night.
No mail again. A pity.

Current mood: frustrated, tired, lonely, confused, frightened...
Current music: lean on me - ???

Thoughts on My Last Post

After that last post, I sat for a moment and wrote a reflection on it,
intending perhaps to wait some 24 hours that I might post it as
a certain explaination. I turned my computer off and got in bed.
I never could leave well enough alone...
( Read more... )

I would like to note that shortly after writing that post, I laughed. Not for anything related to it, but because me and my room mate were joking around, and he actually said something witty. Moments before he was being an ass, crossed the line, and I fell into one of my few public displays of seriousness. It seems I may be developing a reputation for being dark and brooding. That's not me. It's a part of me, but no more or less than the goof-ball I KNOW you all know I am. I can't be anything more or less than what I am - I quit playing that game a long time ago.
Old habits die hard.

In all of this, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me.
That's not to say I don't want you to care, but there's
a difference between sympathy and pity. I don't want to be pitied.
I just want someone to understand me.

(no subject)

Well, this morning things begin to wind down a bit. I had a paper to turn in for Philosophy, and I got that all typed up and printed out, and turned in. There are so many problems I find in Descartes's reasonings, and so many places where I feel he contradicts himself, that I find it hard to accept that he believes what he's saying himself.

Tomorrow I have a Math test, but it seems like pretty simple stuff. The toughest piece, and the thing that's been hanging over me like a cloud, will be my presentation on Thursday. I think I have an idea of what I'm doing, but I always get nervous when I have to speak in front of people. Apparently, I'm told I do a pretty good job when I have to do so, but I still get apprehensive about it.

Those three things are really the only large-scale projects I have. Saturday is going to be really cool, I think. Me and my cousin, Johnny, are going to the Onslaught pre-release. It looks like it could be a really interesting set, and I think I'll highly enjoy it. I think I like the way Wizards is doing thigs right now, even if they did flub up with the whole Weatherlight storyline a bit. I still don't think I can give their novels much credit, but...

Checked the Nekocon website for the confirmed pre-reg list. As I sent in my check months ago, early on in the summer, I expect I should be on there. There's an "Andrew Porter," and as it seems EVERYONE misses the 'n,' I'm hoping it's just a mistype.

That's about it so far - class in another hour and a half, so I'm gonna see what I can do till then...

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Instant Update: Yes, it was just a mistype, and they just fixed it in their database. ^_^;; I was getting a bit worried there for a moment... I will say this - DAM, they're quick. Too bad we won't be getting nick-names on our badges this year, though...

Tragedy Strikes

Alas, all is not right in the world!
Apparently, my presentation wasn't for Thursday after all - it was for today. Needless to say I wasn't quite prepared, but I bit the bullet and did it anyways. I regret it now, as I presented myself poorly (stood still, spoke too fast, jumped topics) and I forgot a couple of my points. On the plus side, my teacher said I did pretty good, and it's over now, so I don't have to worry about it. The next thing we do is a paper, and i don't need to prepare nearly the same way for that as a presentation. So, yeah, that was fun.