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[personal profile] jackofallgeeks
And to complicate matters, whenever I think of holding or kissing someone, I think of Claire... it's not so much that I need her, much as I may want her... It's just that I think romance and intimacy, and it instantly leads to Claire... I miss her badly, and I'm sure we all know, but... And I can't tell her. I can't say that I want to hold her again, to feel her in my arms, to lay my head against her shoulder, because I'm afraid I'd scare her away... She's going to possibly be at MSU next year, and if so, i'm hoping to be able to spend time with her... And i'm afraid that if she was really aware that I still love her, that I still want to be with her... That she wouldn't want me around... or that she'd limit our contact, or something... Thinking about it it sounds like such a foolish fear -- Claire's a great girl, and besides, she knows I still love her, and that I still want her... but... I would have added this into my last post -- seeing Beth reminded me of Claire by association (Beth being 1/2 the reason I ever met Claire) and Claire, Romance, and other girls...

Yeah, there goes my train of thought again... I'm going to sleep...

[2:28] I'll get over her, eventually... It's hard picking up the pieces sometimes. I'm not as bad off as I sound, just... looking for someone to listen, I suppose. Right, sleep...

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John Noble

August 2012

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