The Standard Of Living
Jan. 24th, 2003 07:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackofallgeeksWell, I found out today that she's Catholic, but she doesn't go to mass. Ever. Yeah, she matches the 'word of the law,' if you will, but not the spirit. It was once said it would be better to marry a devout Protestant than a luke-warm Catholic, and I agree. Of course, things aren't that cut-and-dry. She may change, she may not, she may be better in her faith than at first seems. And i'm not so single-minded as to decide "Scratch that one, she's not Catholic. Scratch that one, she doesn't attend mass." Sometimes I wish I was, but...
It's just so frustrating, to have these standards and feel that you'll never find someone to match. I mean, I know I won't find the 'prefect' girl, I'm not quite that naive, but... I want to find someone, and it's not impossible to match the standard. I know I'll be supremely happy if I find her, but I'll also be supremely miserable if I end up living alone...
I once commented on the fear that that the more one gets to know me, the less they should like me. And I guess part of that comes from the fact that my dearest friends are the ones I allow to see me fall short of my own standards. I suppose by rights I should like myself the least off all, because I ALWAYS see when I fall short, and I also know intimately exactly what the standards are which I'd like to hold myself up to. I guess I feel good about who I am because I 'know' I'm not a bad guy, and I can see clearer than anyone how hard I try...
But, I still get lonely. That kind of lonely which you can feel even in a crowd, the kind of lonely that I'm sure upsets my friends for the simple fact that they can't seem to alleviate it. I don't know... there's alot of fish in the sea, sure, but I am only one out of a world of fishers. What makes me special?
Some girls wait for a knight to rescue them. I seek a princess who will let me rescue her.
It's just so frustrating, to have these standards and feel that you'll never find someone to match. I mean, I know I won't find the 'prefect' girl, I'm not quite that naive, but... I want to find someone, and it's not impossible to match the standard. I know I'll be supremely happy if I find her, but I'll also be supremely miserable if I end up living alone...
I once commented on the fear that that the more one gets to know me, the less they should like me. And I guess part of that comes from the fact that my dearest friends are the ones I allow to see me fall short of my own standards. I suppose by rights I should like myself the least off all, because I ALWAYS see when I fall short, and I also know intimately exactly what the standards are which I'd like to hold myself up to. I guess I feel good about who I am because I 'know' I'm not a bad guy, and I can see clearer than anyone how hard I try...
But, I still get lonely. That kind of lonely which you can feel even in a crowd, the kind of lonely that I'm sure upsets my friends for the simple fact that they can't seem to alleviate it. I don't know... there's alot of fish in the sea, sure, but I am only one out of a world of fishers. What makes me special?
Some girls wait for a knight to rescue them. I seek a princess who will let me rescue her.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
You know...
Date: 2003-01-25 09:33 am (UTC)Everyone Needs a Friend
Date: 2003-01-25 07:47 pm (UTC)