Don't Step In The Leadership
Dec. 7th, 2002 06:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackofallgeeksGene recently had a post where he got upset and frustrated in part because of another bad night of babysitting (it sounded like a bad day in general to begin with). I can understand exactly where he's coming from, because I've been in that exact same position (minus one sister and plus one brother) many times before, myself.
I don't mean to lecture, if that's what this sounds like. The way things played out was completely understandable, but I think we can all agree it didn't work out well. What I say, I say not because I've perfected the task, but because I've had experience before. There was one comment in particular that hit me, and I'd like to address that.
"There is no reasoning with parents when your in charge.
They immidiatly assume that anything which went wrong is your fault..."
It seems an obvious thing to say, but there's more to being in charge than simply exercising authority. You have to take charge - as you've evidently found, you will be held personally accountable if things go badly. As the person in charge, you're obligated to make things work - yes, part of this is making sure those under your authority do their fair share, but it also means you have to pick up the slack when someone else doesn't meet the standards. When The Powers That Be come to collect their due, you're going to be the one who answers for failure. When that happens, it's best if you can swallow your pride, admit that you are responsible for it, and perhapse see if anything can be done to make up the difference.
You can argue "it's not fair, why should one shoulder all the responsibility if the others were the ones who didn't do their part?" However, it's also 'not fair' that one person should necessarily have authority over the others - whether they listen to you or not, you are the authority, and can turn to The Powers That Be when you feel you're authority hasn't been heeded.
Leadership is all about judgment - judgment on what needs to get done, how it can get done, and when 'done' is satisfactory. Usually, 'good enough' isn't. Good judgment comes from experience, and experience - as we all know - comes from bad judgment. Just be sure to learn from the failures and move forward.
I don't mean to lecture, if that's what this sounds like. The way things played out was completely understandable, but I think we can all agree it didn't work out well. What I say, I say not because I've perfected the task, but because I've had experience before. There was one comment in particular that hit me, and I'd like to address that.
"There is no reasoning with parents when your in charge.
They immidiatly assume that anything which went wrong is your fault..."
It seems an obvious thing to say, but there's more to being in charge than simply exercising authority. You have to take charge - as you've evidently found, you will be held personally accountable if things go badly. As the person in charge, you're obligated to make things work - yes, part of this is making sure those under your authority do their fair share, but it also means you have to pick up the slack when someone else doesn't meet the standards. When The Powers That Be come to collect their due, you're going to be the one who answers for failure. When that happens, it's best if you can swallow your pride, admit that you are responsible for it, and perhapse see if anything can be done to make up the difference.
You can argue "it's not fair, why should one shoulder all the responsibility if the others were the ones who didn't do their part?" However, it's also 'not fair' that one person should necessarily have authority over the others - whether they listen to you or not, you are the authority, and can turn to The Powers That Be when you feel you're authority hasn't been heeded.
Leadership is all about judgment - judgment on what needs to get done, how it can get done, and when 'done' is satisfactory. Usually, 'good enough' isn't. Good judgment comes from experience, and experience - as we all know - comes from bad judgment. Just be sure to learn from the failures and move forward.
