In The Deep Recesses Of A Tired Mind

[jackofallgeeks]

Have you ever been to the point where you're awake, but you don't know why? Where you could go to sleep, but there's so much you could be doing - and you don't know what any of it is? Have you ever sat and stared into nothingness, knowing that you should be doing something, or that you could be doing something, or that there's something to be done - but you don't know what?

Yeah, me too.

Have you ever sat and wondered what you're doing? What you're saying? What you're thinking? I mean, literally, what you're thinking. Not 'why did I do that' but 'what is going on inside my head'? Have you ever wondered - really wondered - why you're doing what you're doing, saying what you're saying, thinking what you're thinking?

Yeah, me too.

Have you often second-guessed yourself? Found one reason for why you MIGHT do whatever it is you do, but questioned your true motivations? Have you questioned why you feel what you feel, and what it is you should feel? Have you ever wondered if what you feel is really what you feel, of it what you feel is what you want to feel? Or if what you want to feel is what you should feel? Or even if what you want to feel is REALLY what you want to feel?

Yeah, me too.

Have you ever openly thought in abstract terms? Questioning ideas and abstractions, without having anything specific for your basis? Have you ever picked apart your own thoughts, trying to find the basic components of what it is your thinking, almost as though they weren't your thoughts, but someone else's - thoughts who's authenticity needs to be examined and verified. Do you often take simple, daily observations and develop general abstractions which seem to fit together, but then, you created them, so of course they seem to fit together?

Yeah, me too.

Have you ever wanted to have a conversation with someone, but didn't want to bother with the trivial matter of talking with them? Have you ever wanted to say everything and nothing at the same time? Have you ever rejoiced and regretted the same action at the same time? Have you ever painfully wanted to see someone, and yet feared seeing them again? Have you ever wanted to be two different places, in two different ways, but for the same reason?

Yeah, me too.

Have you ever spoken as though you were mired in - something - but you really weren't? Have you ever been up thinking for the sake of thinking, talking for the sake of talking, being for the sake of being?

Have you ever been hungry and, though surrounded by cookies and chips and bread and soup, couldn't find anything to eat?

Yeah.

Me too.