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Nov. 5th, 2008 06:09 pmI'm an emotional wreck. I don't know why.
Work's been stressful the last couple of days. Humiliating. It's been pointed out several times that I don't know what I'm doing. And I don't, which makes the whole fucking thing worse. My boss(es) keep asking me to do their jobs for them by telling them what my tasks are supposed to be, and I don't know. I keep missing details in my answers that no one else knows or catches before it's submitted, but which basically makes me wrong as soon as it's pointed out.
I'm having a little fight with Meghan because I didn't call her last night. And I didn't call her because I was depressed and didn't have anything to talk about. So I just quietly crawled in bed. and I've never liked sitting on the phone unless I had something to talk about, and I don't want talking to her to ever feel like a chore. But she's angry because she was expecting me to call and I didn't.
My house is a mess. I'm depressed. The only reason I plan on getting up for work tomorrow is because I'm out of sick time and I'm saving my personal leave for my honeymoon. I can use no more than 4 days between now and June 2009, or I can start cutting my honeymoon short.
I can't seem to do anything right. I haven't spoken to, much less seen, most of my friends since mid-summer.
I haven't had free time to honestly relax in over a month.
I'm on the wrong side of every issue.
I should just shut up.
Work's been stressful the last couple of days. Humiliating. It's been pointed out several times that I don't know what I'm doing. And I don't, which makes the whole fucking thing worse. My boss(es) keep asking me to do their jobs for them by telling them what my tasks are supposed to be, and I don't know. I keep missing details in my answers that no one else knows or catches before it's submitted, but which basically makes me wrong as soon as it's pointed out.
I'm having a little fight with Meghan because I didn't call her last night. And I didn't call her because I was depressed and didn't have anything to talk about. So I just quietly crawled in bed. and I've never liked sitting on the phone unless I had something to talk about, and I don't want talking to her to ever feel like a chore. But she's angry because she was expecting me to call and I didn't.
My house is a mess. I'm depressed. The only reason I plan on getting up for work tomorrow is because I'm out of sick time and I'm saving my personal leave for my honeymoon. I can use no more than 4 days between now and June 2009, or I can start cutting my honeymoon short.
I can't seem to do anything right. I haven't spoken to, much less seen, most of my friends since mid-summer.
I haven't had free time to honestly relax in over a month.
I'm on the wrong side of every issue.
I should just shut up.
