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Long Story Short
Oct. 8th, 2004 02:24 amI was feeling really sad the other day. Achingly sad, which I haven't felt in a very long time. Sad isn't always bad, but I just wanted to curl up and forget the world for a day or so. I was feeling really lonely and frustrated and sad, mostly about the whole Suzannah thing.
Then I chatted with Genie about it, the girl I met once a few years back, and who I've since gotten back in touch with, rather by accident. We talked for a long while about it all, and in the end she made me feel a lot better, just in general. -shrugs- At one point, she said that if I was 30 and still alone, I was hers. Not that she loved me, she noted, just that I was a nice guy and would make a good life-long companion. Or something. I don't know how much she meant it, or how much it matters, but it was really good to hear.
Really, I just want somebody to love.
Went out to Christendom tonight. I did want to see Suzannah, but I'm not sure how much of it was simply the obligation I felt to the guys I ferry out there. It was a lot of fun, as it always is, but more so than usual. They played some of my favorite dances, and Nicole amused me greatly, and I got to dance with some lovely ladies. Suzannah was up on stage with Jaqueline, though, calling the dances, so I didn't get to dance with her. I really hope I haven't said or done anything that might cause her to avoid me. I don't think I have, but it's part of my nature to worry.
"He just couldn't find the girl he wanted to dance with; she was on stage."
Greg, my brother's old roomie, pulled me off afterward and showed me some great Canadian-themed shorts. Most of them were parodies, but they were all great. One, though, was really inspirational and proudly Canadian; it almost made me want to be Canadian. Of course, the fact that it was, in the end, a beer commercial lessens the effect a little.
"We wrote this song after consuming some non-alcoholic beverages -- American Beer!"
Anyways, my heart aches a little tonight, but I'm alright. I'll deal.
Philosophy midterm tomorrow. I need sleep.
Then I chatted with Genie about it, the girl I met once a few years back, and who I've since gotten back in touch with, rather by accident. We talked for a long while about it all, and in the end she made me feel a lot better, just in general. -shrugs- At one point, she said that if I was 30 and still alone, I was hers. Not that she loved me, she noted, just that I was a nice guy and would make a good life-long companion. Or something. I don't know how much she meant it, or how much it matters, but it was really good to hear.
Really, I just want somebody to love.
Went out to Christendom tonight. I did want to see Suzannah, but I'm not sure how much of it was simply the obligation I felt to the guys I ferry out there. It was a lot of fun, as it always is, but more so than usual. They played some of my favorite dances, and Nicole amused me greatly, and I got to dance with some lovely ladies. Suzannah was up on stage with Jaqueline, though, calling the dances, so I didn't get to dance with her. I really hope I haven't said or done anything that might cause her to avoid me. I don't think I have, but it's part of my nature to worry.
"He just couldn't find the girl he wanted to dance with; she was on stage."
Greg, my brother's old roomie, pulled me off afterward and showed me some great Canadian-themed shorts. Most of them were parodies, but they were all great. One, though, was really inspirational and proudly Canadian; it almost made me want to be Canadian. Of course, the fact that it was, in the end, a beer commercial lessens the effect a little.
"We wrote this song after consuming some non-alcoholic beverages -- American Beer!"
Anyways, my heart aches a little tonight, but I'm alright. I'll deal.
Philosophy midterm tomorrow. I need sleep.
