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Looking Ahead
Jul. 11th, 2004 08:35 pmI was just thinking today... In another year or so, I may not be in this area anymore. I mean, I've juggled the idea in my head a bit -- I really don't like the climate here, least of all in the summer -- but I've never really thought about. I have vague ideas of moving to New England -- the weather is reputedly wonderful, if you like being cold and wet (which I do), but I think the area might clash with my political affiliations -- or maybe the NorthWest (almost a good a climate with just a little less of the Political issues, depending on where you look). But i never sat and thought to myself, "I could be there in May." I'm not sure what I think about the prospect.
In the first place there would be the isolation. It wouldn't be the first time I'd been away from Home -- until last fall, I'd been nearly a continent's-breadth away from my parents and siblings -- but it would be the first time I was utterly without Family in the area. The fisrt summer I moved back to the East Coast I was living with my sister, and when I then came up here to go to school, I was smack in the middle of all my aunt's and uncles and cousins (my mom's side of the family all lives roughly in and around The City). My dad's family has spread out since I was a kid, but even at that they tend to be in the South West, between California and Texas. No family that I know of, and certainly none I'm very close too, lives either in Massachusettes or Oregon. Nor very close to either.
Bothering me only slightly less so would be my lack of friends. I mean, thinking about it, I don't have any friends any closer that a few hours' drive away even being here -- excepting now and then when friends far flung go back to their respective homes of origin. Then I've got a few a little bit nearer. And I've never really had much trouble making friends -- I open up rather easily given the barest amount of encouragement (as I'm sure each of you have noticed), and that seems to appeal to people. Still, I do need a little encouragement; I get very shy left to myself, especially in large crowds, and as I believe we all learned from gradeschool, shyness is often mistaken for arrogance of snobbery. Neither are very attractive.
And then there's that little bit of what I want to do with my life -- specifically, settle down and have a family. The settling down part I might be able to manage on my own, but the family part almost always requires a partner. And that wouldn't be too much trouble (or rather, any more trouble than making friends), I think, as I've found that, yes, given time I will find someone to whom I'll attach myself. I've never believed in that "One Person In The World" theory of Love that some ascribe to, but I've had a couple cases where I've felt for a girl what I would 'never' feel again if she were gone. And they have gone, and I have felt it again. No, the trouble is that I'm fond on a certain lady right now, and I'd like to see if that might go somewhere. Even knowing that there's very likely Another somewhere out there, that doesn't incline me towards... Not pursuing this option? Something like that, but not as impersonal.
I guess, in the next year, I'll have to decide if there's any reason for me to stick around here.
Of course, if here's the only place I can find a job, here I'll stay, but I doubt that potentiality.
In the first place there would be the isolation. It wouldn't be the first time I'd been away from Home -- until last fall, I'd been nearly a continent's-breadth away from my parents and siblings -- but it would be the first time I was utterly without Family in the area. The fisrt summer I moved back to the East Coast I was living with my sister, and when I then came up here to go to school, I was smack in the middle of all my aunt's and uncles and cousins (my mom's side of the family all lives roughly in and around The City). My dad's family has spread out since I was a kid, but even at that they tend to be in the South West, between California and Texas. No family that I know of, and certainly none I'm very close too, lives either in Massachusettes or Oregon. Nor very close to either.
Bothering me only slightly less so would be my lack of friends. I mean, thinking about it, I don't have any friends any closer that a few hours' drive away even being here -- excepting now and then when friends far flung go back to their respective homes of origin. Then I've got a few a little bit nearer. And I've never really had much trouble making friends -- I open up rather easily given the barest amount of encouragement (as I'm sure each of you have noticed), and that seems to appeal to people. Still, I do need a little encouragement; I get very shy left to myself, especially in large crowds, and as I believe we all learned from gradeschool, shyness is often mistaken for arrogance of snobbery. Neither are very attractive.
And then there's that little bit of what I want to do with my life -- specifically, settle down and have a family. The settling down part I might be able to manage on my own, but the family part almost always requires a partner. And that wouldn't be too much trouble (or rather, any more trouble than making friends), I think, as I've found that, yes, given time I will find someone to whom I'll attach myself. I've never believed in that "One Person In The World" theory of Love that some ascribe to, but I've had a couple cases where I've felt for a girl what I would 'never' feel again if she were gone. And they have gone, and I have felt it again. No, the trouble is that I'm fond on a certain lady right now, and I'd like to see if that might go somewhere. Even knowing that there's very likely Another somewhere out there, that doesn't incline me towards... Not pursuing this option? Something like that, but not as impersonal.
I guess, in the next year, I'll have to decide if there's any reason for me to stick around here.
Of course, if here's the only place I can find a job, here I'll stay, but I doubt that potentiality.
