May 31st, 2004, 12:15am -- Struck with Fear.

I'm really scared, Suzannah. Frightened. I really like you, but I don't know that you like me. I just don't know anything. But I find that, once again, I'm enamoured with a girl I barely know. and that really frightens me. I want to know you, I really do. As far as I know you you're a wonderful girl, intelligent and dignified and talented. I want to know you so that I can love you, and I find myself struck cold with fear in the realization of it all. Because what is ever to become of me if it's always the same thing, another after another after another, always to be enamoured with ladies I don't know. I want to know you, Suzannah, that there might be something between us, but I don't know that you would want the same thing.

These are my thoughts right now. They are recorded here only, and have not been sent to Suzannah; I don't know that they ever will be. I'm frightened and alone. I wish I had someone to comfort me. I have nowhere to turn for support this night.

Sewer Urchin rocks. So does Chairface.

( Tick Supermeme )

(no subject)

Gah! I hate when the Internet is silent like this! No email, no LJ, no AIM...
I feel I'm going to burst. From my fears of last night, I decided to read the old emails Suzannah and I exchanged over the last school year. I think I'm very much in love with her, if I were to have any idea of what "in love with her" means. I want to know who she is, so I might love her truly. i'm always afraid of that, of not really knowing someone.
But no one's around to talk about it! So I'll just have to post this.